It was 87 degrees Fahrenheit! No Metric! I was running down 🐸 frogger road alone, dodging sex-crazed speeding traffic.
“What the hell is this, you fat Crisco-demon hamplanet. Your tasty 😋 man-titties, your yummy, 🤤 massive, pointy, fully genetically female banana 🍌 breasts are bouncing around like two young roes 🦌 🦌 skipping acrosst the tube. Ah the taste of it!”
It was the Voat Fat People Hate Verified Shitlady!
The Heat was so intense, I felt like my brain 🧠 pan was cooking 🥘.
”Its the last day of Fall! Septembroish the 21st! 35 degree drop tonight, thank Khufu!”
”You’ll never make it, you fat, sexy, bloated sweatacious 😓 Grease-Golem! You shitty obeast and your ‘condishuns!’ May Lord Brimley take thee before this savage sun 🌞! Oh the last day of summer! Revenge of Sol! May the strike down these mini-moons ‘ere they devourest all the Twinkies!”
I was hoping she would shut up 🤐.
The cars 🚗 whizzed by at 77mph (no kilometers, this is not le 18ème de Brumaire).
Our first mile was slow. We ran uphill, changing the route for variety. We could not escape the garish sun ☀️.
”They diaper is massive! This hast release a massive brownuous foil-smelling bowel 💩 Genie 🧞♀️. Ah the taste of it!”
Our second mile was worse. The Heat was staggering. We decided to halt at 3.12 miles. Our time sucked. My mileage was barely keeping up with my goals.
”F@&k me goddamn you!”
She Shroake. Her body was tight and sweaty. She looked insane. So my dear readers. I thusly did gefoucke her. Hey! Hypocrites! You wanted me to!
Peace be the Botendaddy