Tag Archives: Five Mile Run

Niagara Falls Run with Commonwealth Girls

It was seven in the morning. The streets of Niagara Falls, Ontario, 🇨🇦 Canada had not yet filled up with Beetus-Swilling, bloated, del.ic.io.us touristairoos (The fake Brazilian 🇧🇷 word for turistas). I decided to run 🏃 down the hill towards the Falls. It was … Continue reading

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Back to BMI Normal and a meaningless Five Mile Park Run

I got started late. I was working on the Thesis for seven hours straight. I decided to break at 7PM and go for a quiet run by myself. I ran across campus. I looked back, no one had followed me … Continue reading

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Trump Attacks Botendaddy on Qweefter: A Humid Five Mile Park Run

Trump: “Botendaddy stinks, he’s horrible, disgusting. I hate him. Great guy, he’s wonderful. You should get to know him, fantastic. He’s awful, terrible, bleeding from every orifice. He’s a super guy. Just amazing. You’ll love him.” QNN: “Botendaddy and Putin. … Continue reading

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I Still Love Kathleen Turner

We were on the trail. We were going to run down and back. I was running with Hiroyuki. The weather was unseasonably cool, about 62 degrees and delightfully overcast – awesome. “You should have changed your massive, filthy adult diaper … Continue reading

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Butler Road Race 5 Miler: A Horrendous Finish

RAJ: “Percival Manfred Rajah ‘Raj’ Mutthapphan reporting for the EBC, English Broadcasting Corporation. Today we are accompanying the famous American runner, Boten Daddy on his second Five Miler of the Year. He is one of the most utterly horrendous, yet … Continue reading

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German Expressionist Theatre Presents: A 5.54 Mile Run in Savage Humidity: Botendaddy on Trial for {CENSORED}

[Opens to a stage in a smoke-filled Deutsche film-noir 1920’s style theater.] NARRATOR: [In Weimar-Era top hat and tails] ‘Obviously in every German Expressionist play is the existential-oppositional-nihilist anarchist-deontological-neo-structuralism between Totalitarian Fascism and Extreme Socialism presented in incomprehensible 1920’s dialectic.’ … Continue reading

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Botendaddy Runs with the Aliens

“Whassupp B-word! Yo yo yo it’s me Gryzwaczasdfg in the hizzouse! This my boy Gryzwaczqwerty we gonna be running with you today. You know what I’m saying?” The two Boleans with blue glowing eyes sort of stood out in the sub-rural … Continue reading

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