Cold War Spy Story Explained

A very large, muscular and completely unorthodox Navy Intel Junior Petty Officer named Botendaddy leads a dangerous seaborne SOUTHCOM mission in El Salvador 🇸🇻 to stop 🛑 an Extrême Deutsche Red Army Faction Terrorist operation against a seaside OAS airbase.

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The Army Special Operations Team Alpha is late due to problems with defective helicopters 🚁 and Botendaddy’s team goes in alone and vanquishes their terror team in Extrême mano a mano mortal combat.

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LTG Fraunifaisce, the super-lean Korea and Vietnam Veteran mission planner is pleased that the mission succeeded, but furious that a self-involved, delicious yummy muscular jovial slob like Botendaddy saved the day. Who the hell is he? Why was he chosen to lead Task Force Bravo? What is his connection to Langley and the Beltway?

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The General has an odd sensual attraction to Botendaddy. Is it passion? Lust? Ancient Grecian man-love? God only knows.

Petty Officer Botendaddy is obsessed with Beef Bulkgogki and any woman over the age of 70. His Navy career takes a sour turn when he has a passionate run in with the randy 72 year-old Madame Kim, unbeknownst to Botendaddy, the grandmother of his Intel Platoon Leader.

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His CIA Chief at Langley has to hide him out in the slovenly drunken dick-dancing fart-contest tobaccy-chawing beer swilling raping National Guard where he can carry out missions without drawing suspicion.

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What adventures could lie ahead for this unlikely hero? But who is he? Where did he come from? Is he a Sowiejt spy? A double agent? Read it all here! Stay tuned!

The Secret Cold War Army Cadence

Try to envision U.S. Army Officer Candidate School circa 1983. This was the most important and most secret of all cold war cadences.

‘I was lying in my bed in a cold, cold sweat.

When I woke up, the sheets were wet

It was the same old dream I could not ignore

Cause I had it one hundred times before

I was sittin’ in a room that smelled like the plague

With Caspar Weinberger and Old Al Haig

They said the President can’t see you now he’s ridin’ his horse

So tell us what you came here for

Well I jumped to feet and I started to run

But, I thought I might tell my story, son

I said the Atom Bomb it ain’t no fun

It just gets started and the killing’s done

We got M-16s Machine Guns and more

Won’t you bring back that conventional war

Then Ronald Reagan appeared in the door

He said tell me what you came here for

Then I dropped to my knees as I fell to the floor

and said bring back that conventional War!

The hydrogen bomb it ain’t no fun!

It don’t give the refugees time to run!

We got M-16s Machine Guns and more

Won’t you bring back that conventional war!

Courtesy of Lieutenant Elder wherever he may be.