Karl-Heinz Schnellebakker Ausstellung mit D.B. Cooper auf 1981

Westphalia Studio, Rhenischer-Palatinate,  Bundesrepublik Deutschland 🇩🇪 Heutzutage 15.04.1980

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Westphalia Studios ca. 1981

KHS: “Wilkommen meinen Geehrter Häärengen und Mädchengen auf BRD Heute. Heute haben wir einen ganz besonderen Gast, den super coolen, unglaublich angesagten amerikanischen Anti-Helden, den unnachahmlichen D.B. Cooper. Beifall bitte mein geliebtes Publikum.„

KHS: “Dolmetscher bitte…“

DB: Thanks 🙏 for inviting me here today daddyo, this studio is beat, it’s crazy 😜 man.

KHS: So Herr Cooper. Many around the world 🌍 consider you to be the coolest Anerican since Cab 🚕 Calloway.

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Super-Kühl D.B. Kooper

DB: Thanks, man you are a cool cat 🐈. So dig this man, I’ve been living it up in Southern Europa smoking reefersticks hanging in casinos entertaining the ladies, playing cool 😎 riffs on my sax 🎷 man.

KHS: Your sunglasses 🕶 are über-Kühlschrank. So how have you managed to avoid capture? The world 🌍 must know.

DB: Dig it man. So like Interpöl and the 👑 crowned heads of Europa are hip to my scene, baby 👶. I’m a political prisoner, daddyo. They know it.

KHS: You are the ultimate American anti-hero. You dress immaculately. You roak filterless squares and you drink 🍸 vicious bourbon 🥃. You are every lady’s dream and every man’s envy.

DB: Ladi? Like Ladi Geisler? Bert  Kaempfer? Very hip jazzmen, you dig, baby 🍼?

KHS: Close enough. D.B. it’s always a pleasure. You will never be caught by the sexy jingoistic imperialist Running 🏃 dog 🐶 Kapitalists. A nice hand please.

DB: Thanks Karl-baby. Keep the faith.

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

 

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Review: David S. Pumpkins – a Smashing Success

Finally something on SNL that wasn’t over-politicized crap 💩. See, the problem with blatant political humor, whether on the left or on the right, is that it often assumes that we are too stupid to get the message. That is SNL’s problem, it often becomes unfunny propaganda.

At any rate, for those of you who didn’t get the joke, it was very similar to Ren & Stimpy’s send up of stupid 1950s cartoons where cat chases mouse 🐁  and dog 🐕 chases cat 🐈  ad infinitum, in contrast to the rather sophisticated and humorous Warner Bros. cartoons that could be viewed on two levels: adult and child 👶.

The 1950´s cartoons were literally marketed to the lowest common denominator… or in other words: they were shitty.

Many of the traditional holiday 👶 children’s cartoon specials really were just intended to come up with some kind of a concept to get all the kids to tune in so that they could buy products marketed through the commercials.

Of course, it is a business and they have to pay 💰 their own freight 🚂 but the old holiday specials were just blatant merchandising with a sketchy cartoon premise.

I had the luxury of never seeing the previous David S Pumpkins skit, but I have since seen it. I didn’t even know that the skit or character existed. Thus, when I saw the special, on SNL, I figured I would give it a minute. It reminded me of the old SNL Smigel cartoons like Ace and Gary, the Ambiguously Gay Duo; and of course it was delightfully mindless and idiotic.

I got the joke regards David S Pumpkins 🎃 . In case you didn’t get the joke, you probably didn’t like the cartoon.

I thought it was pretty entertaining and I believe people will be talking about it for the next 30 years. Kids may even put their shitty sour raisins into pumpkins 🎃 in the hope that it will magically change into delicious 😋 candy 🍭.

The other thing I want to mention while I’m here, is what was up with all those Beatle albums which totally drowned out all of the vocals? It was some idiotic, failed attempt to make it work with quadraphonic stereo. We couldn’t hear 👂 shit. What were we paying for? Doo-doo?

A word to the wise – technologist 👩‍💻 s, whenever you try to be to clever or too tricky about your new technology, it invariably ends up being useless dog 🐕 crap 💩 . Lesson: don’t screw around and try to do stuff like Blu-ray.

Nobody wanted Blu-ray and nobody bought a Blu-ray, thank God. Were we really expected to examine every DVD label and every DVD player label to make sure it was compatible? Just no.

Blu-ray was one of the dumbest ideas of all time, just like the stupid drowned out Beatles vocals, just like New Coke,  just don’t do it, just do normal.

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1950’s Albums

Bonus review. So the Danny Kaye album? I have no idea what this was. I knew of him more as an actor. Some kind of comedic songs. Mildly entertaining.

The Glen Miller LP was a collection of orchestral versions of Broadway 🎭 hits. I really hate Broadway 🎭  but this Album is easy to listen to while working out 🏋️.

The Sinatra 33 was actually excruciatingly boring. I’m not a fan of Sinatra, I’ll admit,  but this was really tortuously dull. The songs were all seemingly contrived for the sole purpose of writing a filler song.

P.S. Some record players can’t detect the size or speed of the record so you have to set 7-10-12 size for 45-78-33 speed.

”Hazelnut Latté?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

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LP Review: Graham Central Station and Joe Maize

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Joe Maize and the Cordsmen with autographed photo from 1958

Yes, the Mambo No. 5  as an instrumental based on the 1950 original by Dámaso Pérez Prado. A Misirlou version was also on this album. This was apparently a demo album on Decca Records cut in 1958.

Joe Maize née Joseph A. Mazzola was from New Jersey. He died in Reno in 1988. He apparently played Vegas for years. His family remembered him quite warmly, per some articles I saw online.

I watched a YouTube video of their appearance on the Patty Page show. They were wacky and energetic with String bass, electric ⚡️ keyboard ⌨️ , violin 🎻 and accordion.

The trio played at a club in Pittsburgh called ‘Ankara’ on April 30, 1956. I could work that into one of my stories. Imagine the healthy delicious 😋 hearty wholesome radioactive nicotine and reefersticks being roaked in that shitty dive by dames and gents.

I’m not sure how to describe them. Instrumental music 🎶 with some Spanish lyrics in the background. Some accordion and violin 🎻. Some weird faux-Hawaiian music. OK 👌 I have no idea 💡 what kind of music this was, but apparently it was popular in the late 1950’s.

I found the photo inside the album jacket. It’s OK to listen to while working out. Maybe they were the 1950’s version of the 1989’s Neue Deutsche Welle 🌊 band ‘Trio’.

NOTE: If anyone from any of the families of the band members sees this article, post a comment here and I will send you the album and the signed photograph.

The other album was Graham Central Station, Warner Brothers, 1974 which was headed by Larry Graham, late of Sly and the Family Stone. Classic 70’s funk. Starts out well with great funky beats, then it slows down a bit.

Albums by the 1970’s became cohesive compositions rather then just compilations of hits, so you could have songs written merely to compliment the other tunes in the album.

Oh, I had forgotten. LP’s skip, skip, skip, so you have to gently smack the record player.

Peace be the Botendaddy

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Jim Croce’s Greatest Hits and It’s Hard by The Who

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I listen to LP’s while I work out 🏋️. I stack two or three and just let them play.

I forgot one ☝️ rule of Albums: there are several boring ‘concept’ songs or ‘C’ songs that didn’t even make it onto the 45.

The Croce Album had his three greatest hits: Operator, Leroy Brown and his breakout hit ‘You don’t mess around with Jim.’ Lots of slow kind of café ☕️ songs as well. Sadly, those were quite dull.

The Who Album started with ‘Athena’, their last great song. Lots of bizarre Townsend concept songs the best of which is ´Eminence Front’ which as we all know is a put on, it’s a put on! But no matter how bad a Who song is, if you play it loud, it’s better.

All if you who are under the age of say 35, listen up. Go buy a turntable. Get speakers 🔊 with some bass. Go buy a few random LP’s at your local music 🎶 exchange store. You know the one with all the hipster, Millenial, Seattle-ish Trainspotter Sk8te kids who look 👀 like Tychy.

Stack the LP’s and do something while the record (pronounced wreck-hoards) spin in the background.

The LP has a mystical, authentic, rhythmic, scratchy quality to it. It has the beauty of mechanical imperfection instead of soulless Shit-covered ‘downloads’.

Get rid of your goddamned phone and get a record player! I command thee O Yon readers! Peace be the Botendaddy

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Review: ‘The Addicts’ by Gertrude Friedberg

Friedberg is almost lost to history. She was a mid 20th Century New York City playwright and author.

’The Addicts’ is a story eerily familiar to today’s readers.

The cautionary tale is about a family who love to read at the dinner table.

The habit crept up on the Tuppersons, a husband and wife who then passed it on to their children.

They would hide their habit if the grandparents were coming to dinner, but otherwise they always obsessively read at the dinner table.

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Man in the Fictional Mode, Book 3

Mrs. Tupperson thought they could break the habit if they accepted a dinner invitation from a friend, a Mrs. Ravell.

The family practiced by devouring a book of Ettiquette, also read at the table.

Their attempts to make conversation fell flat.The Ravells, who did not read at the table, but rather kept a phone there so Mr. Ravell could respond to business calls fell into a terrible, ugly argument.

The Tupperson’s conclusion? Not only is reading at the table not rude, it avoids nasty interpersonal conflict brought about by conversation.

So don’t yell at friends or family for being on the cellphone at the dinner table, it leads nowhere good.

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

‘The Addicts’

Man in the Fictional Mode, Book 3

Hannah Beate Haupt, editor

McDougal, Littell & Company

Evanston, IL 1970

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Botendaddy responds to critics of ‘Cold War Spy Story’

Köln Studios: Änhalt Pälätinäte

KHS: “Ja, meinerem Güteres Freünderer. Gibt es hier Karl-Heinz Schnellebakker für eignerem Vorstellungsgespräch mit der berühmtener Schreiber, Der Botendaddy.”

KHS: “Dolmetschern, bitte?”

BD: “Grüße Gött! mengen Geehrter Häär!”

KHS: So, some have complained that when you were ein jüngeres 18-20 Jahren old Sailor you had intense, del.ic.io.us sexuelle relations mit eineres 67 year old Korean Woman who ran a Bulkgogki joint who you mistook for a prostitute, then you violated with extreme spermatozoa, a 70 year old Jewish woman in Miami, then you radically intercoursed and literally covered with spermatozoa a 65 year old Honduran woman. When I read your story… I touched mein selbst. Ah the smell of it!”

BD: “I know that People are sensitive about issues of elderly women and Prost 🍻 itution. None of them were hookers, except for the fat blonde Deutsche woman in Louisville in 1981.I literally f@&$ed all of them as hard as I could. I was madly in Liebstraum ❤️ with all of them.”

KHS: “So your level of perversion is so delectably extréme that we can’t even cover it within this interview, yet my panties are dripping with an-tic-i-pa-tion…”

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Industrien Rühr Valley Bridgehead March 1945 Colorized Photo U.S. Army Signal Corps 923rd Construction 🔨 Battalion

BD: “How Frank N. Furterian of you. May I offer you a Denali Cigarette? It is grown on Mt. McKinley at 20,000 feet in January when it is 88 degrees below zero. And hand-rolled by neo-proto Esquîméàûx.”

KHS: “Was für einer Güteres Zigaretten!”

BD: “Einer kleines fräkkä: What is wrong with making passionate, sloppy, degrading love to a dignified older woman? What could be more boring and annoying than a younger woman? It’s not a competition. I prefer a relationship that is measured, deliberate, dignified yet sloppy and degrading at the same time. Younger people have too many ‘Objektiven’ from an existential sense I find them ennui-inducing, emotionalisiert needy and utilitarian. I feel from a deontological perspective the slathering of a proper lady of advanced years with gallons of sticky steaming 😡 spermatozoa is tasty 😋.”

KHS: “I am squirming delectably. You also sullied a deaf girl. She was obsessed with you and your signing of 👱🏻🐻🐷. And then there is the Writers Workshop, this I like to talk about. You violated every single one of them in ways that were never even contemplated by the Kama Sutra. Now your military escapades, from the Navy to the sexy National Guards (the most Erözentrüsser of the services) to the Armee. You always get the most interesting assignments when you are eine beschießen niemanden? A shit-covered nobody? Es ist in Wirklichkeit ja unglaublich!”

BD: “The reader must decide if what they are 📖 reading is pure unadulterated bull 🎯 🐮 💩. Or absolute pure truth.”

KHS: “I believe that your readers and your fanatischen followers have to bathe after reading 📖 your disgusting perverse 👅 tasty 😋 diatribes. They feel sloppy, deliciously used and otherwise contaminated with red *hot* spermätözöä… BOTENDADDY… ICH LIEBE ❤️ DICH! Du musst mich jetzt lieben!😘 ”

Producer: “What happened next is only available on Öst Sächsischen pay 💰 per view.” {GEÖFFNET- ÄNHÄLT-HÄNÖVER PÄLÄTINÄTE ELEKTÖRÄTE}

Guten Abends Damen und Herren!”

Frieden sei der Botendaddy

 

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All music has a story: Mendelssohn’s Rondo Cappriccioso Opus Quattorze

It was on the 8-Track.

I never knew the name of the piece of music 🎶 until yesterday.

After all those years. I did not know what it was called.

Then I was listening 👂 to public radio 📻.

The music 🎶 was on. I waited until they announced it. ‘Mendelssohn’s Rondo Capriccioso Opus XIV’.

An ancient mystery was solved. I remembered being in the car 🚗 with my dad. I would shove the 8-track in and listen 👂 to my parents’ classical music 🎶.

They also had Bizet and a few I don’t remember now. I’ve been playing their old LP’s while I work out 🏋. Three albums at a time.

A few albums

We had a good 😊 family while it lasted.

Then it all went to hell. Empires Fall. The Magnificent Ambersons. The Fall of the House of Usher.

As the poet Frost said:

‘Nothing gold can stay.’

Peace be the Botendaddy

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