“It’s cold today. But I need 3.57 miles to be within 15 miles of my annual mileage goal.”
I Shroake as we walked through the frozen parklet.
”I met you here as you remember, Yon aged Botendaddy. Can we talk for a minute? It is too late for me. No-one will ever love 💕 me again. My soul is dying. Listen to me. I want you, in this 24 degree weather, to take me back into the huge abandoned maintenance shed and f@&k me like you’re trying to break my pelvis. I want your red-hot, 🔥 gooey, yucky 🤢 old Man spermatozoons pouring into my uterus, through my Fallopian tubes and literally soaking my sad 😞 remaining 39 year old eggs. Then I want to get hugely pregnant 🤰 and wear t-shirts that say: ‘Botendaddy impregnated me.’ I need your sperm to vindicate my existence as a woman. F@&k me, impregnate me, marry me, you goddamned misshapen, hideous shitlermodostein (Shit 💩+ Hitler + Quasimodo + Frankenstein) freak!”
So my dear readers, yes the Librarian was in a fragile mental state. She needed love ❤️ reassurance, tenderness, the human touch. So I f@&$ed her wildly in the ice cold maintenance shed. Her shroakes of ‘f@&k me, you ancient freak!’ echoed off the corrugated metal building and down the creek bed. When I was done ✅ she was literally filled with hot gooey, creepy, slimy old man spermatozoon. She was utterly defiled, like some ancient maiden of Roman Lore, laying spread eagle 🦅 in a stupor, drooling 🤤 with ecstasy.
Them we ran. Blah blah blah. First mile slow. Second mile slower. Third mile worse. Then I was attacked by a giant poodle 🐩. The Librarian, I noticed, had a funky cute little ponytail and a hot 🥵 lithe body outlined in her black spandex.
“You already took it, dominated it, controlled it, owned it, claimed it, why stare at it, you hideous monstrosity. I feel so dirty, so used, so slimy, ashamed beyond imagination that I could stoop so low as to let a big nasty 😷 sweaty, hairy, aged, muscular, red hot ape 🦍 like you fill me with spermatozoons. God, I love it 🥰. This fat slob just f@&$ked me! Look at him!”
”Very Nice honey 🍯. You looked like you needed it… bad. It’s pathetic, really. You’ve hit rock bottom. A nice lonely girl like you and this horrific, creepy, sexy, muscular, yummy young ape 🦍-man with his titanic pelvis-stretching Easter Island Godhead of a phallus-snake-anaconda.”
Said an old lady who looked like Helen Hayes.
”Fifteen miles to my goal!”
”Let’s f@&k again. My soul is dying without your slobberish, crushing man-weight on top of me.”
Shroake the Librarian
Iced lemon 🍋 tea 🍵 with honey 🍯?
Peace be the Botendaddy