Ghost of Nixon Shows up at Writer’s Workshop to Save America

We were in the Bolean Nationality Classroom.

The Fat Hairy Unionized Physical Plant 🌱 Guy let us in.

”Yunz (NOT YINZ) don’t Jag my wires (Jagmuhwhrrrz) n’at. Gotta get the kids ott da haaas n’ donn Muzzyumm.”

”What the f@&k did he say?”

Asked the Punker Model Writer Chick.

”Never mind. It’s almost Halloween 🎃 you f@&king morons.”

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Writer’s Workshop Parking Garage on Baum  Boulevard (Pronounced Bull-a-Waaah)

Hiroyuki was dressed like Yoko (Pronounced Yo-o-ko, your luv will turn me o-uh-uh-on) The Weird Trail Bicycle 🚲 Guy was dressed like John Lennon.

I was dressed like WaLuigi. Röchibäüld was dressed like Dieter from Sprockets. The CEO was dressed like Hilary and Devon was dressed like Bill. I didn’t ask. I didn’t want to know. The Angry 😤 Online Social Justice Warrior Guy was dressed like some kind of Lou Reed Sugar Plum Fairy 🧚‍♀️ in a tutu… hideously del.ic.io.us.

The rest of the costumes are too horrific to describe. So the Halloween 👻 party started, when suddenly ooh 😮 aah the lights went out.

We could see by the faint blue light of the Boleans 👾  👽 glowing in the dark. When a ghastly spectre appeared! With hands raised in twin Peace ✌️ signs! It was the ghost of Richard M. Nixon!

”Listen up, America’s College Bums! Fornicators! I saw many signs on the campaign trail. One of them was held up by a little girl 👧. It said ‘bring us together’ and I propose to do just that! Listen I gave you this:

Detente with The Soviet Union

Detente with China 🇨🇳

Peace in Vietnam 🇻🇳

I ended the draft

21 year old vote 🗳

OSHA for Worker safety

Clean Air Act

Clean Water 💦 Act

EPA

Federal Block Grants to cities

An actual end to school 🏫 segregation

Affirmative Action

National Health Proposal

SSI

Family Assistance Program to fight Poverty

I hated right-wing conservatives

I supported the Equal Rights Amendment for women.

I was not hostile to gay 🏳️‍🌈 rights.

”What a f@&king wishy-washy peacenik ultra-liberal this guy was!”

Shroake the Voat Fat People Hate Verified Shitlady.

”I upvote this Nixon guy! I never heard of him! Maybe he could run for President!”

Shraike the Angry Online Social Justice Warrior Guy.

”Botendaddy is a pusillanimous pussyfooter! A nattering nabob of negativism!”

Shroake the ghost 👻 of Spiro T. Agnew.

“Botendaddy is a Soviet Communist.”

Shroake the Henry Kissinger hologram.

”I like this Nixon guy, Nixon 2020? Thank Khufu he doesn’t sound anything like a Republican.”

Said Revolutionary Blacquéz.

”Iced Maple 🍁 Latté‘?”

Peace ☮️ be the Botendaddy

 

 

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