Extreme Top Secret COINTELPRO Facility, Langley Virginia 10 January 1961

John Foster Dulles sat next to outgoing Vice-President Richard Milhous Nixon and Extreme General of NORAD Curtis B. LeMay. It was a high tech computerized conference Room with recessed lighting, a huge electric wall map tracking nuclear bombers, subs and ‘bogies’. Everything was in black and white.

”Now the nation will be handed over to the Fornicators, Bolsheviks and deviants along with their Jewy bosses.”

”Let’s be careful, Mr. Vice President, only 63.75 percent of Jews are Marxist 19.25 are deviants and 11.5 percent are fornicators. Don’t worry, I’ll handle the Jews.”

Said the ghoulish, bespectacled, green-glowing Professor Kissinger from the shadows of the outer circle ⭕️.

”Hank, you wacky hebe, we could have worked well together if only that fucking JFK hadn’t stolen the goddamned election. I got inside scoop from Bebe Rebozo, that suave devil!”

Said Nixon, all dreamy-eyed.

”Listen up gentlemen. Here’s the plan. Deep inside Project Agile inside the bowels of the Gama Goat 🐐 Project we have created Project Botendaddy. The perfect triple spy 🕵️‍♂️.”

Said the demonic, creepy, red-glowing, satanic Dulles.

LeMay signaled to Kissinger, who darkened the lights. LeMay started the 16mm 1959 Bell 🛎 and Howell projector.

(Silent Film US Geological Survey Number 301-21.7 stroke 7: Project Botendaddy.)

”As you can see, a baby 👶 is born in America, shipped to Vladivostok, put with a non-Communist fishing family and raised until the age of  12 when he disappears at sea 🌊 . Then said baby is rescued by right-wing Eskimos, comes to America and is raised by a family of 🇷🇺 Russian speaking American agents. Then he spies for us, but they think he spies for them as a double agent.”

Narrated LeMay.

”That is the dumbest fucking idea I’ve ever heard in my life. No wonder we lost the goddamn election. Dulles, you fuckup, fuck you. Fuck you all. Hank, come with me let’s get a drink you German-Jewish, creepy, fornicating, Commie, homo.”

”Ja Herr Vice-President. I don’t trust the Dulles brothers. For all we know, they threw the election 🗳 to Jack.”

One Month later, same Room. JFK and RFK are sitting with LeMay and Dulles

”That was a good presentation!”

Said JFK

”Yeeees, beetuh than Claaam Chowdah!”

Said RFK.

”Let’s do it! Said Bob McNamara.”

”I’ll sell it.”

Said LBJ


Muttered LBJ under his breath as he entered the secret Get Smart elevator. A hand got into the door before he could leave. It was Dulles.

“Listen up country boy, we’ll handle these rum-running paddy mickey Irishmen. National Security is too important to left to those Papist prep-school low-lifes. You just do what you’re told, you fucking low-class redneck dirt-farmer and no one will get hurt. How’s little Linda Bird doing by the way.”

It was Allen Dulles. The creepiest man alive. LBJ heard the veiled threat. There was nothing he could do.

Dulles got off the elevator.

”That man is an asshole Mr. Lyndon.”

Said the elevator operator, Curtis St. John Flournoy.


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