Old Movies Revisited: Heaven’s Gate 1980 and The Omen 1976

Heaven’s Gate, directed by Michael Cimino starring Kris Kristofferson, Jeff Bridges, Sam Waterston, Richard Mazur and some broads I’ve never heard of.I wanted to hate this movie.  But I had never seen it.

It was sort of the nouveau-Western historical epic genre (Pronounced Jaaaahr).

It was kind of long. Too slow in parts. It was an art film. Music score was brilliant. Many great visuals. Had it come out ten years later, it probably would have been highly regarded and been heavily attended.

The topic, The Johnson County War, was mildly interesting.

It was a classic Hollywood mega-bomb: runaway costs, too much hype, out of control whiz kid Director and commercial failure. It was fun to make fun of for the critics. It became in a word: a meme.

It really was not that bad. Very long story short: Harvard Grad goes West becomes Federal Marshall, tries to stop ranchers from killing a hit list of immigrants who threatened their cattle 🐄  (true story… like WTF?) .

He then has to take on other Anglo-Saxons, whose values he questions. Christopher Walken is his conflicted nemesis. The Marshall falls in love with 😍 Balkan Woman Whorehouse Madame. She is killed. Then he goes back to his life of wealth in New England married to his old College Girlfriend.

My reviews are terse because no-one can read lots of impenetrable over-wrought bullshit.

This film deserved a better fate.

The Omen, Directed by Richard Donner, was the successor film to ‘The Exorcist’, essentially the DaVinci Code of the 1970’s.

Plot: evil devil’s spawn Damien, born of a jackal, switched at birth with murdered real baby 👶 of ambassador causes people to die and kill themselves, has to be ritually killed with knives procured from Israel 🇮🇱. Blah, blah, blah.

It was filmed like a cross between a soap opera and a 70’s made for TV 📺 movie. It was a schlock horror film of the worst quality. The acting was atrocious. Gregory Peck was too old for the role. Most of the characters were unattractive and creepy, but that may have been on purpose.

The horror scenes were too obvious, the lighting 💡 was too strong 💪 and often destroyed the mood of terror. Some of the scariest scenes were so bad that they were funny 😄.

It was an iconic film, yes. Barely watchable. Slightly boring. But a really shitty film at best. Horrible production quality.

‘Sanctus Spiritus! Sanctus Spiritus!’

Cool film. Must watch. Schlock horror iconic film.

Note: ‘kid 🧒 on bicycle 🚲 where Mom falls off balcony’ scene was totally copied by Kubrick in the Shining Big Wheel scene. Go see for yourself.

Peace be the Botendaddy

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