It is too deeply personal.
Almost everything on this site is light, silly humor akin to S.J. Perlman’s ‘Feuilletons’. He wasn’t a direct influence, but it’s a parallel style.
At any rate. I’ve been watching ‘The Long Road Home’ about 1st Cavalry Division in Sadr City on ‘Black Sunday’ April 4th, 2004.
I had no awareness of it when it was going on. I was in between tours. I wasn’t with the 1st Cav until four years later. All the units were there on Battalion, the long road traversing Ft. Hood. I knew some guys had traumatic tours. I was like the weird guy who transfers into school from across the country who doesn’t know anyone’s backstory.
I never suffered like they did. Not in Bosnia 🇧🇦 and not in Iraq 🇮🇶. I was lucky 🍀 by nature. Not good, just lucky. I was very protective of ‘the kids’ as I called them.
I lost a lot of friends to the ‘Savage Wars of Peace.’ Some were KIA on tours in Afghan, some committed suicide years after.
I had a job to do for the Cav when I was in Iraq. It was a one-off job, but proved to be useful to keep everyone safe so they said. They gave me a medal. I’m not being modest, but I really don’t deserve it. If I had any integrity, I would give it back. Was just being there enough? I’m not sure.
A lot of people criticized the show as being too formulaic, but if you were in 1st Cavalry 🐴 it’s like watching a war movie about your own family… it’s heart-rending. I can barely watch it. I think about Annabel Lee fielding phone calls from 1st Cav Family Support Group from a thousand miles away. I think about the little Boten-Daughter missing daddy for a year.
When I got back the baby was still quite young. One day I dropped her off at school and she said ‘when you went to the war, I thought you were never coming back’ My daughter will always be a 1st Cav baby 👶 and Annabel Lee will always be a 1st Cav wife.
So it’s hard to watch and it’s a little too real, so I don’t have any critique of any value.
I hate myself sometimes because I don’t think about the boys and girls of the Cav enough. I haven’t been to visit at the VA. It’s not that I can’t do the right thing, it’s that I just don’t think I deserve to be in their company and I don’t know if I can be of any solace or any help.
Peace be the Botendaddy