BCS: ” Cholmondeley-Smythe here for the English Broadcasting Corporation. I am at the tail end of a 5 kilometer (pronounced kee-low-mee-taah) race 🏁 with Yon Botendaddy.” (Shaky camera 🎥 with yuge spotlight and rain ☔️ drops 💦 on the lens.)
BD: “How did you even find me here? And what up with the 🌈 🎥 cameraman?”
BCS: “It looks like Botendaddy and his incongruous female companion will pull off the feat of two 5k’s in one day, one starting at 8:00AM and the other at 8:30PM. This has never been done ✅ in all of human history. It may be the most amazing athletic endeavor since Frank Klammer’s amazing downhill skiing 🎿 run at the Innsbruck 🇦🇹 Olympics back in 1976. What a del.ic.io.us moment. His 95th life-time distance run. He was not ‘slown’ down by his enormous, yeasty, massive adult diaper. Ah the smell of it!”
CNG: “This reporter guy is creepy. Can you get me away from him?”
BCS: “Botendaddy’s time is horrid. He just doesn’t have the energy. You can see the agony on his exertion-related palsy-ridden visage. Can you get a close up of this? And look 👀 at his crazy 😜 nerd 🤓 girlfriend, she is obviously a social outcast, mentally 😳 disturbed if not actually socially retarded, a true, sad 😭 pathetic, freak, observe her unkempt, filthy, freakish, thick, hideous, tangled red hair. It’s only fitting that she should ruin her already wasted life by associating with a disgusting, late-night, double drive-in feature, macabre, shit-covered monster like the Botendaddy. What a tragedy for their family. Well in every shit-covered, bloody-birth-mucous, bacteria-stoked, litter of rancid, savage wild 🐷 piglets is one genetic abomination.” (sound of commotion and jumbled video of reporter and cameraman tumbling over a steep embankment into a creek).
CNG: “He wasn’t very nice. Let’s get out of here and f___. You still haven’t touched me yet.”
BD: “Iced Mocha with Cinammon?”
Peace be the Botendaddy