“68 degrees. It’s like paradise. The other night, it was 90 degrees and 75% humidity (pronounced humilidy). My lungs literally were choked with water, my body felt like it was burning from the inside out.”
Hiroyuki and I ran along the trail at a solid pace. We could have run faster, but this was good enough. Our first mile was mid-eights. We ran through the tunnel.
“It looks like you are carrying a massive, enormous, oversized, brownuous, bowel-genie in your infamous gargantuan oversized adult diaper. How can you run with such an enormous mass of rotting sweet-hot bowel movement? Ah the smell of it!”
I ignored her insanity.
“Why are we running so fast? I’ve been getting slower all year, until today.”
“It’s the heat, the oppressive humid, soul-crushing heat. I’m a woman you know. I’m 25 years old. I should be married, getting a career, a house, kids… I’m a terrible disappointment to my family. And look at me, I’m out running with the shit-covered, hideous, creepy, ancient, Frankensteinian Botendaddy. My life is truly in shambles.”
Hiroyuki had a remarkably muscular body, even her huge, but incredibly firm Japanese-Canadian breasts at which I was staring were seemingly muscular.
“We are going to hit two miles in under 18 minutes. WTF? Maybe it is the temperature.”
“Quit looking at my del.ic.io.us breasts, you filthy, ugly, smelly, *hot* Aqualung, yes… my sweaty, firm breasts with erect nipples, my tasty voluptuous…”
“Stop! Hiro or I swear to god I’ll f&$k you right here in the middle of the trail.”
We were under 28:00 for three miles and under 29:00 for the 5k time.
“Hiro, I ran in the 33’s the other day for a 5k. Could it really just be the heat and humidity?”
We stopped at 3.35.
“I don’t know. Let’s go f@&k. You owe me, but for Khufu’s sake, take a shower first.”
“Cold Brew Mocha?”
Peace be the Botendaddy