It’s the Heat and Humidity, St. Upid; Second Fastest Run of the Year

“68 degrees. It’s like paradise. The other night, it was 90 degrees and 75% humidity (pronounced humilidy). My lungs literally were choked with water, my body felt like it was burning from the inside out.”

Hiroyuki and I ran along the trail at a solid pace. We could have run faster, but this was good enough. Our first mile was mid-eights. We ran through the tunnel.

“It looks like you are carrying a massive, enormous, oversized, brownuous, bowel-genie in your infamous gargantuan oversized adult diaper. How can you run with such an enormous mass of rotting sweet-hot bowel movement? Ah the smell of it!”

I ignored her insanity.

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Auf dem Weg

“Why are we running so fast? I’ve been getting slower all year, until today.”

“It’s the heat, the oppressive humid, soul-crushing heat. I’m a woman you know. I’m 25 years old. I should be married, getting a career, a house, kids… I’m a terrible disappointment to my family. And look at me, I’m out running with the shit-covered, hideous, creepy, ancient, Frankensteinian Botendaddy. My life is truly in shambles.”

Hiroyuki had a remarkably muscular body, even her huge, but incredibly firm Japanese-Canadian breasts at which I was staring were seemingly muscular.

“We are going to hit two miles in under 18 minutes. WTF? Maybe it is the temperature.”

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Die Anfang

“Quit looking at my del.ic.io.us breasts, you filthy, ugly, smelly, *hot* Aqualung, yes… my sweaty, firm breasts with erect nipples, my tasty voluptuous…”

“Stop! Hiro or I swear to god I’ll f&$k you right here in the middle of the trail.”

We were under 28:00 for three miles and under 29:00 for the 5k time.

“Hiro, I ran in the 33’s the other day for a 5k. Could it really just be the heat and humidity?”

We stopped at 3.35.

“I don’t know. Let’s go f@&k. You owe me, but for Khufu’s sake, take a shower first.”

“Cold Brew Mocha?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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