We sat poolside on her rooftop condo in Wheeling, West Virginia.
“I’m running a 10k tomorrow, Butler or Robinson, I’m not sure yet. But first I am publishing the names of the Allegheny County Kosby Jurors.. FREE THAT [ ] BILL KOSBY!” I said.
“Botendaddy, this is dangerous! You should not do this!” Said the CEO
“But.. I have to… in the name of… Journalism!”
“Oh I love it when you talk sexy!” She said
“OK, Everyone, here’s the list:
Juror #1 Shapp Bapp Bebap from Wilmerding Pa, Bolean, Male? Age 637 Space Years (20 in Human Years) Occupation, Student, University of Pittsburgh
Juror #2 WaLuigi Machismo Donatellini from Tarentum, PA, Mediterranean, Male, Age 39 Years Old, Occupation, Sous-Chef
Juror #3 Jabba Shaquille Tennboim, from Squirrel Hill, PA, Ethnicity Incomprehensible, Male, Age 33, Occupation – Muscular River-Stevedore Hung? YES!!!
Juror #4 Fannie Mae Sally Mae, from Moon Township, PA, Ethnicity Mixed, Female, Age 23, Occupation *Hot* Escort”
Juror #5 Evgeni Alexandreiovich Krepotkin, from Sharpsburg, PA, Ethnicity Caucasian (no he’s actually from the Caucasus, like Evgeni Malkin), Male Age, Unknown, Occupation Baker
“Enough! This list is Bull$h!t! These are fake f&%king names! You click-baiting 455h0l3! OMFG! You suckered me in! That makes me want to f%$k” Screeched the CEO.
“OK, So I lied.”
Peace be the Botendaddy