Washington, D.C. National Mall Monument Run

IMG_0343

The Reflecting Pool

The humidity was staggering.

I was going to run 4 miles.

Not likely.

I had crept stealthily (stealthily crept?) down 9th Street N.W., whatever the f&%k ‘N.W.’ means.

At any rate, I was blissfully alone in the District. I got to the sandy paths next to the Mall and I started to stretch, when I felt a hand on my sleek butt-ock. It was the… LIBRARIAN!

“Thought you could slip into the City without my knowing? I will not be ignored!” (Yee Yee Yee Norman Bates stabbing musc).

IMG_0349

D.C. Art shot

The librarian was clearly insane. She wore some kind of tennis skirt. It appeared she was not wearing panties. I could almost see {CENSORED U.S. Code per Public Law 18-316, Act of May 7th, 1919 against pre-verted, communist, subversive, Bolshevik, prurient filth (and bad writing)}

The first mile was horrible. My legs were in great pain so I kind of dogged it.

“You are going to overheat in that massive, tasty, del.ic.io.us adult diaper, Yon Botendaddy. You are running like a crippled shit-covered old goat.”

I ran directly behind her to observe her lithe, supple, firm butt-ocks and catch a glimpse of her over-exposed, sweaty, dripping girlie-schnée.”

I know you are looking at my ass, you pervert.

The second mile, we ran along the reflecting pool. It stank like dead waterfowl. They were draining the water to resolve the duckling-slaughter. Our two mile time was atrocious.

We ran up to the Lincoln Memorial to pay homage to the somber Lincoln, the martyred Caesar (Pronounced Kee-Kar), like in every bad Hollywood movie.

My third mile time was grotesquely bad. I actually stopped at a drinking fountain, which made up for the undesired ‘pause’ of the MapMyRun app.

I staggered back down 9th Street (N.W.) in the wrong direction.

“Oh I see you are heading for my apartment, fatty. I suspected as much. I know you are madly in love with me. So let’s just f%$# and get it over with,”

“Mocha with extra whipped?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, Fashion, Food, People, Running, Technology, Weather and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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