“They are trying to kill Voat, you fat hambeast, you shit-covered porc-orc, you Beetus-eater.”
Shrieked th VFPHVSL.
It was very hot and humid. It was disgusting. I didn’t have the will to run.
“Listen crazy Voat lady. Voat is the last vestige of freedom of speech. Fat People Hate isn’t really about hating fat people. It’s about testing the limits of speech. I hope Voat survives.”
I soliloquated like an 18th Century British Philosopher.
“I’ll die without Voat, you Land-Walrus. I’ll just be the Shitlady. I won’t be Voat. I won’t be Verified. I won’t be fat people hate. I’ll just be a Shitlady, insulting fat people and their Beetus.”
She looked down at the ground when she ran.
“Listen. There’s a lot of good causes out there, listen we just ran a 10:50 mile, but here it goes:
Free Bernie Madoff!
Dont you feel better now?”
“I am obsessed with your massive, reeking, del.ic.io.us bowel-movement filled adult diaper. How can you run in that thing in such intense heat you blubber beast.”
“Listen, VFPHVSL, you are getting a Masters degree, you are in a new city, meeting new people, why not enjoy life? Come out to Somerset with me, we can see Fallingwater and Kentuck Knob, we can go to garage sales on Route 40, have dinner at Utonic Manor.”
Two miles, like 24:30. A running death spiral. We finished around 37:30 for 5k. A complete collapse from the 27:42 5k. WTF? Am I dying? Do I not care anymore? Why can’t I run?
“OK fatty. I’ll join you. But take a shower and f@&$ me. Someone needs to f@&$ me. I can’t stand other men. I hate men my own age, they are pathetic and weak. You are the only man for me. You are hideous, ugly, stupid, decrepit, diaperous, stinky, hairy, old, sweaty, vile, psychotic, mind numingly idiotic, boring, freakish and I am madly, hopelessly in love with you. Fill me with spermatozoa! Make me your shitty subservient wench! Can’t you see I’m crazy about you, Yon Botendaddy!”
Peace be the Botendaddy