Warm Baltimore Metro Office Park Hill Run with the D.C. Metro Librarian

“It’s good to see you in my habitat. It looks like you took off most of the 15 pounds you put back on. So now you’re back below 200 again. I can see the six-pack.”

I hadn’t run in Maryland in ten years, not since the ill fated 2007 – 97 degree and humid (not exaggerating) Aberdeen Proving Grounds Run when I weighed a massive 245.

We ran through the corporate office park, mall area. Portions of it were deserted. The lack of sidewalks made it Frogger-ian. Maryland drivers are courteous and impatient at the same time, they will wave you on, but then yell at you.

As I ran behind her, I saw that the Librarian was still amazingly hot in her spandex. I could smell her mild perfume. Her hot ass looked like two muscular gophers bouncing in a sack.

Maryland Woods

“Listen Librarian. Here’s the truth. I can barely stand looking at you, you are so hot. If we weren’t civilized people, I would just f&%k the s%$^ out of you right here, right now on the freshly mowed grass.” I said dispassionately.

We ran what I thought was fast, but was rather an intensely lame 9:37 mile. My torn hammification-string-wise (urban 70’s style fake stutter with racist, devilish, cultural-Tarantino-like-appropriation of Blaxploitation blackness confirmed) string-wise-ification had slown me down to a sloakish pace.

Maryland Office Park

“Well, you are down here and you called me because you were coming down here. I’m glad you called me. Which means my life is still meaningless and sad. My god, I could do so… much… better… than you… you lame, hideous, diaper-wearing Frankensteinian-walking-freak-show-aged-Mr.-Burns, decrepit ugly-ugly-ugly, monstrous, insect-like-space-alien-looking, Schwarzneggarian-Predator-Monster, sickening, repulsive, gag-inducing, lean, tall, muscular, tanned, ginormous excuse for a male… Take me now, here anywhere… I am madly, passionately, hopelessly in love with you… I yearn for you tragically, I love you against all reason, make me feel dirty. F*&K ME NOW, YOU STUPID FREAK! ONLY YOU CAN MAKE ME FEEL LIKE A WOMAN! NO-ONE ELSE EVER LOVED ME EXCEPT YOU! I AM ONLY ALIVE WHEN YOU ARE NEAR ME! F*&K ME GODDAMNYOU!” She shrieked.

Fortunately no-one could hear her shrieking from the access road above the mall. We ran uphill, hitting 2 miles at about 22 minutes and barely making 36 minutes for a 5k distance.

So, Dearly Belived readers, we went back to the hotel and I F^%ked her. There, I said it. Are you happy now? In every way imaginable, I subjugated her to my most vile predilections. She was literally drowned and coated in spermatozoon’s. Then I spanked her for being naughty. A grown, intelligent, sophisticated, important society woman. There, I said it, I spanked her bare bottom. I hope you are all happy now with your cheap thrill at the expense of the Librarian’s feminine dignity.

So then I wasn’t finished yet so I {CENSORED MARYLAND DEPARTMENT OF AGRICULTURE  STATE LAW No. 36-2004 of April 3, 1937 PURSUANT TO FED WPA REG No. 1112 of 1937 per EXECUTIVE ORDER OF PRESIDENT FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT REGARDING PRURIENT FILTH} her.

Then we went for a walk to the mall. (After a long soapy, shampooey (Not Hong Kong Fooey – more racist cultural cartoon appropriation) shower of course).

“Botendaddy, can I interest you in a … ‘Hazelnut Mocha?'” She inquired.

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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