Screechiamous Bang: World’s Worst Driver

We were in the University gym. I was joined by noted Norwegian engineering professor, Schreechiamous Bang, world’s worst driver.

“Thank god you got here alive.”

“I tooken the auto-boos, Dear Boten-daddy.” He said in a stereotypical Hollywood Norwegian accent.

We began to do pull-ups or chin-ups as they are also called.

Nobody actually knows the difference between the two of them, some claim the pull-ups are done with the palms out and chin-ups with the palms in. Others claim the opposite.

I choose to define them however I choose, because I am the Botendaddy and I don’t give a rat’s hairy anus what anybody else thinks.

Schreechiamous  began to do chinups. He didn’t start from a dead hang and he did not go until his chin was over the bar, he did shitty, shit-covered old man pull-ups where you only go about a quarter of the way up and down and pretend that you’re doing a pull-up, but it’s not a goddamn pull up, my dear beloved readers, because  a pull-up is when you start at a dead hang with arms straight and locked, then you pull yourself up until your disgusting chin is above the bar, then go back down to a dead hang, my dearest Readers.

He responded in his usual Northern European Way:

“So you think the chin-up is shitty,  like the heart-warming news story with the old man who is 90 who can do 126 pull-ups but they’re actually shitty pull-ups where you only go up a quarter of the way.”

“Ice Latte with Lime?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, Fashion, Food, People, Running, Technology, Weather and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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