Ah Joy Littell and her marvelous series from McDougal, Littell.
It still stands up even today.
It’s still avant-garde today.
It’s still risqué and a bit politically incorrect even today, but evenly so.
If any of my readers should find the elusive Teachers’s edition, please let me know, I will pay a premium.
“I just did something I haven’t done in decades. I put the needle on the record… put the needle on the record… I listened to Herb Alpert’s epic Album as I worked out. The record player had massive volume from the magnetic speaker and the LP had realistic soul to it, not like shitty, shit-covered, shit-soaked, shittacious digitial which is shit.”
I told Hiroyuki as we did a free weight workout.
“You are disgusting. You make my skin crawl. When I’m with you, I want to cleanse myself with fire. You are the dead end, the dark night of the soul. You are a vision of eternal damnation like Dante’s thirteenth level of hell. I want to chew my arm off to get away from you. F&$k me now, thou hideous freak!!! F&$k me! O’ Yon Botendaddy! Make me feel dirty and used! Fill me with thy disgusting bodily fluids! Shame me, be thou ancient, mouldy demon! O’ evil spectre!”
Shrieked Hiroyuki as she collapsed dramatically to her knees, arms raised as if beseeching the savage lightning-streaked, hideous skies.
“Ssh! Someone normal will hear you, you wacky Japanese-Canadian twat!”
I said helpfully.
“Oh that’s it, insult me, you shit-covered diaper-wearing freak! f&$k me, goddamn you! Now!”
So, dear readers, right in the middle of my enormous home gymnasium I f&$ked her. There I said it. I f@&ked her. Are you all happy now? You all got your little thrill? Shame upon you! HONI SOIT QUE MAL Y PENSE! Evil to he who thinks evil! Also sprach Botenthustra!
“Del.ic.io.us.” Said the Park Ranger, slowly clapping. (We forgot he was in the gym.) Or maybe we figure with his idiotic earbuds, he wasn’t paying attention.
“O’ the man-flesh! I spy the tasty, firm, milky-white buttocks of the Botendaddy! And that icky, icky, anime, furry, cosplay (yeecch) woman! Move aside, slimy, oozing creature so I may have a turn?? Ah the smell of it!”
Peace be the Botendaddy