Star Wars Sucks and it’s the Boards not the ‘half-wall’

I ran ran twice in two days. My high Achilles was hurting so I decided not to work out either.

I was hanging out with the Professor, the CEO, the Librarian, the Stalker and the Punker Model Writer Chick. These were the only heterosexual, cis-gendered, Caucasian (Not Caucasian like Evgeni Malkin) members of the Writers Workshop.

It was a ‘White-out’ where white people had a safe space to talk about hockey, Star Wars, Classical Music, Latte, ‘Friends’ and other secret society Knights Templar stuff we can’t tell any minorities about.

(So readers, let’s keep this a secret just between us, don’t tell the other members of the Writers Workshop about our secret Honkification.)

We exchanged the secret white people’s handshake, known as the SWPH.

You have to go yachting, golfing and birding in the same day to be taught the handshake.

“Star Wars just sucks.

I hate it. I just hate it.

I’ve seen the first and third movies.

The first movie was entertaining.

The third movie with the goddamned Teddy Bears for instant merchandising was cringe-worthy cinematic bowel movement.

I’ve never seen the second movie, nor have I seen any of the new movies.

The only character I ever liked was Jabba the Hut and I liked Darth Vader until he got soft.

C3P0 was the first *gay* robot since ‘Sleeper’

Boba Fett. Who in the wild flying f&$k is Boba Fett? I never ever heard of the motherf@&ker. Who the f@&k is he?”

Said the CEO.

“Boba Fett, sounds like a sex toy.” Mentioned the Stalker.”


Outdoor Treffpunkt of the Writer’s Workshop

“Spaceballs was vastly superior to the Star Wars franchise.” I added.

The Librarian chimed in. “Next, hockey. What in the flying fantastical f&$k is a ‘wall’ or a ‘half-wall’? It’s the goddamned BOARDS you f@&king stupid idiots. Announcers who say half-wall are so goddamned stupid that they could work for United as goat anus inspectors.”

We all nodded in agreement.

“What the hell are you all talking about?” Interjected the Punker Model Writer Chick. “Botendaddy, let’s ditch these stupid twats and go f&$k”

“Ethiopian medium roast?”

Peace be the Botendaddy


About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, Fashion, Food, People, Running, Technology, Weather and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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