Vancouver Part 2: Brockton Lighthouse 4.37 Mile Run Through Stanley Park

Terrifying Brony

What transpired on the jet in terms of debauchery, is best left to the imagination. Needless to say everyone was literally drowned in sticky bodily fluids, especially the obnoxious Angry Online SJW Guy who was literally filled with {CENSORED} by Ramon, the Park Ranger, Devon, ‘Big’ Chief Guyasuta and any other males in the group. The AOSJW guy was literally shrieking with delight as he screamed: ‘I DOWNVOTE ALL OF YOU? WHY ARE YOU NOT GETTING THIS!’ Even the elderly professor and the CEO received similar treatment. Ah the smell of it!

Fortunately, the Boten-Daughter locked herself in with the crew. Thus, until the plane was doing its approach into the private airfield in Burnaby, she saw nor heard none of it.

We landed at the airport and we stayed at my top floor penthouse suite in Surrey, BC.

The building is otherwise innocuous except for a small sign saying UTONIC, Ltd.

After settling in, we went for a run in magnificent Stanley Park. We met up at the Brockton Lighthouse. Fortunately everyone had bathed and changed clothes, so the reeking odor of bodily juices was neutralized. The clothing was sent to the private cleaners in the UTONIC building for decontamination.

There was a great surprise. It seemed that Hiroyuki got a text message from her sister informing her to meet at the Brockton Lighthouse for a run. She pulled up and began to stretch. the UTONIC Canadian party van pulled up and the entire Writer’s Workshop poured out and surrounded Hiroyuki.

Random Photo

“Oh my Khufu! What in the {Great Furry Brony Sugar Puff Anime Unicorn Star Anthrocon Furry-Tail Sorcerer Cosplay Wizard Rainbow Happy Dragon Pony-Play} are you all doing here? How the hell did you get here? It’s like a thousand dollars round trip, that’s like 10 billion Canadian! You all love me!” Said Hiroyuki, hugging everyone in turn.

The faces of the AOSJWG, the VFPHVSL and the NCL contorted trying to say something nice. The VFPHVSL actually urinated on herself trying to repress her anti-fat hate speech. The NCL lady almost had a seizure trying to say something nice and the AOSJWG made a massive bowel movement in his enormous Adult Diaper just by repressing the word ‘DOWNVOTE’ between his young Ivy League brain and his mouth.

Brockton Lighthouse by Shaund

After the AOSJW Guy and the VPHVSL changed their respective adult diapers, we set off on our 7 kilometer run (That’s Bolshevik for 4.37 mile run) It was slow and sloppy, but the scenery was awesome, the smell of the mighty waters of Vancouver Harbor and English bay, the cry of the gulls. The skinny, gaunt pale Canadian runners laughing at us.

“You guys run like shit anymore and you all smell like reeking, festering caked-on, shameful, hot, tasty, del.ic.io.us Spermatozoans!” Offered Hiroyuki.

“My weight’s going up again.” I said, I’m right at the top edge of BMI normal. I literally can’t stop eating. Even healthy food, I just can’t stop. I’ve almost sopped counting calories and I’ve almost stopped weighing myself in. Plus my cell phone is dead, so no MapMyRun and I can’t check distance, nor record on MyFitnessPal mobile.”

  • First Mile 10:00
  • Second Mile 21:20
  • Third Mile 33:42
  • 5k 34:50
  • Fourth Mile 48:01
  • 4.37 Mile terminus 54:00

“You are a collection of idiots. Especially Botendaddy. By the way, meet me on Grouse Mountain tonight and let’s f&^k. We will ditch these morons at the club,” Said Hiroyuki.

“Iced Mocha?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

P.S. I also f*&ked Hiroyuki’s sister, but don’t tell Hiroyuki, you never know how she would take it. You can do these things when you’re old money, you know. Right then! pip pip, move it along! Tally Ho!

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, Fashion, Food, People, Running, Technology, Weather and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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