Botendaddy Runs with the Aliens

“Whassupp B-word! Yo yo yo it’s me Gryzwaczasdfg in the hizzouse! This my boy Gryzwaczqwerty we gonna be running with you today. You know what I’m saying?”

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Flying Saucer Contrails

The two Boleans with blue glowing eyes sort of stood out in the sub-rural office park. We stretched for a while. The Boleans had running gear but no pants. The lack of external genitalia probably made it not obscene. They had little hats like Pharrell and outdated Nike’s. They also had Quapple watches and Quitbits.

We started very fast. Boleans can run a three minute mile when they are slacking. They can actually run a one-minute mile but they are lazy as shit.

“So I have a question for you guys. The anal probe thing, is that real?”

We hit 8:48 for the first mile, then we hit the steep uphill. Cars slammed on the brakes as they passed upon seeing the Boleans.

“The jokes’ on you Earth people! Those are gay Boleans! Those anal probes are actually Bolean gay p3n1535! There is no scientific value at all!”

Chuckled the one with the f@&ked up gibberish name.

19:43 for the second mile. We made APFT run time by five seconds. We aimed for sub 31:00 for the Three mile. The uphill climb was staggering but it was warmish out.

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The dog hears the Aliens’ thoughts

“You earth people drive like shit, dog, that E-word almost ran my blue ass over you know what I’m saying Earthy?” Said the one with even more f&$ked up name. He was wearing Queats headphones but he communicated telepathtically. He was listening to Steve Miller’s ‘Space Cowboy’

We hit three miles under 31 then 5k at 32:00 flat. Very good for a hill run.

“Botendaddy, You are a jive-ass racist Earth Melon-farmer, jack… think all we Boleans listen to is hip-hop. You think caus’ We got silver skin We Just be be-bopping all the time? F&$k you, devil! You adult diaper smells like… victory!”

The Boleans chuckled on sticking it To the earth man and they did an elaborate 47 part handshake in celebration as they ran.

Four mile at 43:30 not fast but OK. The fifth mile was downhill, we ended up running a total of 5:03 miles. Now, I was less than a mile off my March pace.

The Boleans checked into MapMyRun.

“Yo’ Earth dude, let’s go to Wings, Suds and Spuds and get my wing on E-Money!” Said the taller one.

“Say, old dude, can I drive your Ford spaceship? I like your rims.”

Asked the shorter one.

“Are you f@&king kidding me? I know you motherf@&kers can’t drive for sh!t.”

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Exercise, Running, Weather and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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