I was at the indoor track.
There were lots of people playing volleyball, wrestlers going to and from workouts, pretentious doctors and Med students, Weird runny joggy guys.
I ran the first lap so fast my feet barely touched the ground then I got some kind of massive abdominal cramp and I ‘slew’ down considerably.
I was joined by the librarian. “Are you OK?” She asked with a worried look on her face.
“I’m OK, but I’m worried about my readers. Everyone knows that my readers are the sexiest, hottest, buffed out, Swole readers in the entire Blogaxyverse.”
We hit the Mile mark at 9:07. Very slow. I had wanted to run 40 laps which is five miles. But I was barely hanging on.
“I know Botendaddy, everyone is jealous of how exciting, sexy and supercool our readers be. Other blogs have sad-faced readers like little dogs on the porch with sad, little droopy pouty faces.” Quod the Librarian.
We hit the second mile at 21:09.
“I gave up on the Map My Run App as it was shitty indoors. I don’t wear a Fitbit because I don’t know what th f@&k that is. Would you say our readers are more intelligent than other blog readers? More romantic, deeper, more perceptive, more alluring?” I said.
“Yes, people who read other blogs totally suck. They are ugly and freakish. They are stupid, hideous, sub-moronic f&$ktards who eat BM. They are jealous of our supermodel, superstar, genius-level, catwalk-ready readers.” Noted the Librarian.
“34:50 Three miles. This is pathetic. Let’s stop at 25 laps = 3.125 miles. It’s a travesty. You obviously aren’t feeling well. Let’s go to your place lie down and f@&k.”
“Cinnamon White Mocha?”
Peace be the Botendaddy