We Hate Cosplay! A Warm Park Run with the Writers’ Workshop

The Writers’ Workshop were all assembled in front of the museum (pronounce muh-z-yumm). It was super-warm for February. 64 degrees and sunny. We just couldn’t sit indoors discussing Carl Sandburg.

As we stretched, there was a Cosplay group on the lawn dressed up as super-heroes, mascots, furries.

As we ran from the Museum through the University District at a brisk pace, I decided to take a poll.

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The Museum

“Workshop! Poll!” I yelled.

“You all saw those shitty cosplayers, right? Does or does not Cosplay suck?”

The Professor: “cosplay – for little kids, stick to Hallowe’en.”

The CEO: “cosplay – creepy for adults to be running around in costumes.

The Stalker: “Wow, they should grow the f&ck up!”

The Librarian: “pathetic, hide your kids!”

One mile, took about 8:45, not bad for being uphill for the first 0.92 miles.

The Swole Bro’: “It’s Like SCA… not cool, brah'”

The Voat Fat People Hate Verified Shitlady (VFPHVSL): “It’s Worse then Animé! It’s for Larvaark Hamplanet fat fat fatties. May Lord Beetus take them all as a live sacrifice.”

The Caribbean Queen: “I don’t even know what it is. What is it? Is it anything like Pony-Play?”

Two miles: 19:45 good enough for old people on the APFT, but the MapMyRun App ‘Paused’ unexpectedly again so I had to use my watch.

Devon: “No Comment. It’s just weird, freaky. Maybe it’s a thing? I can’t judge.”

The Park Ranger: “It reminds of the furries in ‘The Shining’. It’s for like neckbeard comic-book graphic novel nerds.”

Ramon: “The furies? Oh, the furries. What were we talking about? I was focused on Botendaddy’s del.ic.io.us dancing firm, yet tasty buttocks.”

The Punker Model Writer Chick: “I do punk drag dressing up as a vicious Gomez Addams-looking super well-dressed Armani-suit male. But I don’t do like Comicon or Anthrocon.”

Three miles, under 31 minutes. 5k under 31:30. Not great, not horrible.

Weird Foreign Doctor Chick: “Cosplay is blasphemy! It is horrible… horrible!”

No-one Cares Lady: “No-one cares about cosplay. Is that Botendaddy’s massive diaper I smell.. yea taste! Del.ic.io.us!”

Hiroyuki: “I love cosplay! It’s Neato-boppy! Like magic Animé SCA comic-book JarWars™ rainbow munchkin unicorns!”

Four miles, we came in under 42 minutes. Not great, not bad. The cosplayers were still on the lawn. Sorry, it’s just not normal.

The CEO came up to me as I sat on the old stone bench next to the Board of Education.

“I know who you are Botendaddy. You were in a huge Rock Band in the late 70’s, early 80’s. You were an icon a bass hero. You never reveal your true identity. We all know the truth. You played the Budokan in front of one billion Japanese fans. You subbed in for Bootsy, you played with Jaco “, you even sat in for a session with BTO up in Toronto. I know. I was a groupie. I performed extreme f3ll@t!0 over one million times. I was 94n9-84n93d over one billion times. I was filed with over one trillion ounces of 5p3rm.” Said the CEO, breathing into my ear.

“I’ll pay you if you’ll stop talking.” I said.

“I am madly in love with you, Yon Botendaddy.”

“Smoked Vanilla Latte?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Exercise, People, Running and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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