“So you are running tomorrow? In some 5 miler? How do you run in this cold, you bloated Crisco-Demon. You Heffalump deathfat. This museum is awesome. The Mothman is swole. I heard you got schooled on FPH. You insulted cosplay! How could you? What is cooler and more macho than cosplay? You sh$t covered troll.”
We walked through the Mothman Museum on Main Street in Point Pleasant, West Virginia.
“I love the cold. Cold and dry, I can stay out in all day. I hiked the Adirondacks when I was a kid.”
“The museum is better than I though it would be. How did they keep this stuff from 50 years ago? The movie was awesomely creepy as well. It’s my favorite Richard Gere flick since Officer and a Gentleman.”
“Yeah it’s cool stuff. I’m getting a t-shirt. A small, you slob, you shout get a 3XL. Richard Gere is flaired up. He’s still in shape you Beetus-eater. Everyone in here probably thinks you’re my dad or grandfather or something. My dad would never do anything cool like this with me.”
“West Virginia is pretty cool. I love Harper’s Ferry, Morgantown, Fairmont, Wheeling. If you like antiques, it probably has the best selection in the Northeast.”
“Let’s check out the antique store next… (gay)” She muttered under her breath.
“Antiques aren’t gay, well not 100% gay. But tomorrow, a five miler. In ten degree weather. By the way, wind chill is bogus. It’s a total lie. Do we say in July ooh it’s 84, but with the wind chill it feels like 81! No we don’t! What does 10 degrees feel like with the wind blowing? IT FEELS LIKE 10 DEGREES WITH THE WIND BLOWING! IT DOES NOT FEEL LIKE -6! -6 FEELS LIKE -6!” I told her.
We bought some cool Mothman stuff, then we walked to the antique shop.
“I start school again next week. I assume you will stuff your Scooty-Puff corpse into some carrel somewhere at the University to do research on god knows what… you never talk about exactly what it is. You should have a sloppy desk and a neckbeard. Let’s book a room at the historic Lowe Hotel, F&$k wildly until you stroke out, then go get a slice at Village Pizza?”
Peace be the Botendaddy