Botendaddy: The Running Year in Review – Presented by the Ex-Presidents

45 Trump: Botendaddy, stinks, he’s a bum, I love him, I hate him, get him outta here! He didn’t even make his goal miles for the year. It’s like, what is it December? He’s got 34 miles to go? Lyin’ Botendaddy! Lock him up! Get him outta here!

image

44 Obama: Botendaddy, thinner, sleeker, faster, sexier, he was clearly hacked by the Russians! He had 29 official distance races this year? Will he make thirty? Look at him, you tell me.

image

43 Bush II: Botendaddy, hes the decider. Strategery. Bring it on, Botendaddy! 20 5k’s and 9 of longer distances. His longest was a 15k, what is that? Like 72 miles?

image

42 Clinton: Yeah, Botendaddy. Yeah, hello America, yip, yip yeeehaah! Yeah! Botendaddy, faster, better, stronger …. blah blah blah (30 minutes later) blah blah blah… Yeah! He ran a nude 5k! A NUDE 5k! AWESOME! Hey that…on your plate.. are you gonna eat that?

IMG_1847

A puppy

41 Bush I: Thousand points of light. Operation…Desert…Storm…. Thousand points of light… I’m 94 and unlike him, I don’t have to wear adult diapers. Yet, he still ran a 27:42 5k.

Landscape

Well…

40 Reagan: Well, there he goes again, taxing, spending Botendaddy. Shining City on a Hill. He ran a sub 8 minute mile…twice. Did he have a horse? Well, good night…America.

image

Not so shabby

39 Carter: Hello…America. Botendaddy has a crisis… of confidence. He was unready… or unwilling to run a half marathon. Although, he did run in five states. His running is.. a crisis. An energy crisis. I will send a rescue mission. He is held hostage to his own stupidity.

FullSizeRender2

38 Ford: Let’s hunker down to brass tacks. Botendaddy did run a 26:14 three mile. Whip… Inflation… now…

The sign

The sign

37 Nixon: I saw many signs on the campaign trail. Botendaddy: commie, pinko, pervert, hippie, subversive. But.. he is not a crook. He ran a 16:56 two mile, his fastest since 2005.

20150814_184026

36 LBJ: Mah fellow ‘marricuns. Botenaddy is a national disgrace. We must declare war on Botendaddy. I choose to escalate by pointing out that he ran his fastest 10k since 1981. Hold him up by his ears. Son they all my helicopters!

The Poster

The Poster

35 Kennedy: I love chowdah! And Lobstah! Botendaddy lost 90 pounds of hideous fat and all of his muscle. His Bench Press dropped, no lie, 110 pounds. Reminds me of PT-109. Ask not what Botendaddy can do for you. Where’s Marilyn? We choose to go to the moon, in this deh-cade.

Tom Savini?

Tom Savini?

34 Eisenhower: Botendaddy is the worst product of the Military Industrial Complex. I am federalizing the National Guard to ensure he gets a real education. He is an obvious communist and friend of Kruschev. He did run for 30 months straight.

image

33 Truman: Botendaddy? F&%k Botendaddy! He’s a stupid 455h013! The h311 with that idiot c0(k5uck3r! He can go 34t shit! He hasn’t even hit his twice a week yearly workout goal?

32 Roosevelt: We have nothing to fear, but Botendaddy himself. He will not meet his ration of 100 runs. He is working against the civil defense. He didn’t earn any of the four freedoms.

image

31 Hoover: Four Third in Age Class, one Second in Age Class? And they said I sucked? This can cause depression!

D.C. Rocks!

D.C. Rocks!

30 Coolidge: The business of America… is Botendaddy! He finally found other people to run with. But did they want to run with him?

img_6202

Freedom from Stupidity

Professor: Botendaddy… WAKE THE F&$K UP No sleeping in the Writer’s Workshop Well, there’s no-one else still here. The classroom is empty. Now f&$k me, damn you!

Peace be the Botendaddy

Advertisements

About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Exercise and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s