A Cold 10k Run

“You can never tell how you are going to run, well maybe you can.”

OMFG, running beside me from the competing race team was the ‘Nobody Cares’ lady!

“Nobody cares, you ugly, ugly, ugly, ugly, hideous, freakish, Frankenstein. Nobody cares about your running, nobody cares about your stupid problems, nobody is interested in your ‘cold weather love’, nobody is interested in you or your stupid blog or your stupid stories, you should just die!”

Late Autumn

Late Autumn

We were on the trail.

  • First mile, 9:00 flat, not good.
  • Second mile, 19:00 flat, not bad.
  • Third mile, 28:30, good.
  • 5k Distance, 29:36, not bad at all.

She insulted me throughout the entire run with non-stop visceral pouring sewer of hate.

The reflecting pool

The reflecting pool

“Nobody cares about how slow you run. Nobody cares about your stupid phony war injuries. Ooh I hurt my left t35t1c!3 in the war, ooh look at me! You old, weathered, grizzled, rotting, piece of horse-hooey. I hate, hate, hate you and your stupid ‘Whorem’ of stupid writey-girls. Your race team sucks and those girls and homos and shitty minorities your run with, no-one cares about them either. I hope you people all go running off a cliff and die like lemmings in a bad, 1950’s, fabricated Walt Di$ney nature special.”

Little did she know that Ramon, the Caribbean Queen, the Voat Fat People Hate Verified Sh!tlady and Devon were running right behind her the whole way.

“You people?” they all said in unison.

“Whorem? You don’t call me a ho’ you nasty b!tch.” Said the CQ.

The cold comes in

The cold comes in on little cat feet

“Oh. the entire freak show is behind me, I should have known. Nobody cares about any of you. Your race team is the worst in the tri-state area.” Retorted the Nobody Cares Lady (NCL).

“I forgot my UnderAmour winter underclothes things. Surprisingly I’m not that cold.” I said, trying to change the subject and avoid an all-out brawl.

I had the energy to break 40 minutes for four miles. Very good. My MapMyRun App worked the entire distance.

img_6144

Sunrise

ADVICE: Never go running unless your phone has been charging at 100% for at least an hour or it will burn out before you can run 6 miles.

  • Better yet, I broke 50:00 for five miles, but the uphill slant caused me to lose too much time.

I broke 61:00 for six miles, but I needed 57:00 to have a chance at under 60:00 for 6.22 miles or 10k as the Euros say.

  • 63:16 for the 10k distance.

“Weird, after the previous run, I thought I was deteriorating. I swear it’s all about oxygen uptake.”

“Nobody cares about your stupid oxygen. And you need to f&%k me, yon Botendaddy. Nobody cares if you don’t want to f&%k me. Just f&$k me!” Snapped the NCL

Everyone ignored the obnoxious lady.

“Latte?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, Fashion, Food, People, Running, Weather and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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