When I’m Waiting, I Feel Like I’m Dying

“Traffic lights. I hate them with an unadulterated passion. They make no sense. They impede traffic flow. They are expensive. They waste energy.”

The library

The library

“Another one of your rants?” Asked the librarian.

We ran across the two campuses and into the park.

“What are your stats Botendaddy?”

The museum

The museum

BMI: 23.58

Waist: 32.75

Body fat: 13.5%

Height: 6’3.5″

Weight: 191.2

Weight % lost: 32.67%

Total weight lost: 92.8

“Yeah, I got thinnish. I hate waiting in line. I hate waiting for anything. I pretend to be patient because it’s polite. You know O think back to when I was big muscle weighing 265, throwing extreme iron. If I was on the open steppes ¬†thousands of years ago, would I wait in line? No I would have cut people in half with my scimitar. Waiting is for the weak.”

The bench

The bench

I got tired at the two mile mark. All uphill, I barely broke 20:00.

“I know one thing you don’t have to wait for. It’s this pu$$y. You can grab it like Trump, yo. You can just take it. You can own me if you want to. I know you miss Annabel. But I’m just different. Not better, not worse.”

By the three mile mark I was near dead… 75 degrees? WTF?

“OK, let’s get changed and I’ll drive you back to the mansion at my ancestral estate on the cliffs. But I must warn you, it’s almost Halloween. The spirits of the Evil and ancient Utonic family will be rising again. You are forewarned. The Botendaughter will prepare the grounds to stop the ancient ones.”

The evil Utonic Family

The evil Utonic Family

“Oh when we get there? Just fu&$ me you idiot.”

Mocha?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, Food, Running, Technology and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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