Back on the Trail a 4.41 Mile Run

It was OK.

Once again I started at full speed, but my time was still atrocious. 2:00 1st quarter 4:10 half I ended up with an 8:48 first mile. Not brilliant.

I did make APFT time around 19:43 for the two mile. Three mile 31:02 so-so at best.

At any rate I was joined by the Stalker!

img_4944

A hole in the sky

“Hi Botendaddy. How the hell did you get so thin but you still run like shit? It’s odd. There must be more to it.”

“We turned around at the tunnel to avoid the crazy GPS signal ricochet. Of course the MapMyRun app did about five different pauses. Now I just use it for distance and I time against my watch.”

“So what’s the problem? And, how do run with that massive adult diaper? Doesn’t it chafe?”

I thought about for a moment. It was cool and dry. Running was easier.

“Look, I checked  my stats. I was averaging 11:40  for the first mile at a weight from 270-285. Now I’m averaging 8:40 at a weight from 193-203. So losing weight mattered. I just think I have some weight left to lose. I need to be 10% body fat to be a real runner. I won’t break 24:00 for a 5k if I’m above 180. I need to weigh 175.”

img_4938

Crescent moon

She ran effortlessly. Her body was taut and lean, yet busty. Too bad she was insane.

“So what are your stats now, old man?”

“OK, kid… Weight: 193.6

Height: 6’3.5″

BMI: 23.9

Total weight loss: 90.2 pounds

Waist: 33.25″

Best 5k of 2016: 28:55

Best Mile of 2016: 7:59

Bodyfat: 14.7%”

“That’s hot. No one is thin anymore you know. At your age, you are like a ten-per center. I don’t know about you weighing 175. Truth is you were pretty lean and muscular at 230. 175 is too thin.”

I was getting really tired around 3.5 miles. That’s my wall.

img_4936

You boys need to get to church!

“You know, Stalker, when I got thin, I thought that rainbows would fly out of unicorn’s assholes and that everyone would love me. Truth is that 25% of people treat me 5% better and 75% couldn’t care less. Truth is most people don’t care if you are thin or fat. It’s only a few weird people who care, like the addicts and psychos on Voat FPH. I was stunned how many addicts were on there. It’s easy to stay thin when you are on meth or smack or are bulimic or an OCD bodybuilder. But the truth is no one really cares. A few crazy SJWs hate thins, a few FPHs hate fats, no one else cares. You want better health? Get thin. Don’t care? Stay fat.”

We stopped  in the parking lot. 4.41 miles.

“Shut up and fuck me you moron.”

“Mocha?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

.

 

 

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Dining, Exercise, People, Running and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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