2nd Annual Determination Dash 5k: Race Number 80

It was my 80th lifetime Organized Distance Race.

80 Races!

The Determination Dash 5k was one of my race disasters last year. I looked terrible, I was a million pounds overweight and my time sucked.

Runners warm up

Runners warm up

This year: Second in Age Class!

In top 40% of finishers!

The Race

The Race

I dropped my damn glasses again at the start.

I beat last year’s time by 10 minutes and three seconds.

Registration

Registration

That’s in a 5k.

I barely missed breaking 30 minutes.

The Scene

The Scene

I dropped my glasses again at the start. Easily the difference in the race. At least 20 seconds.

The ill-fated MapMyRun App froze so I couldn’t even start it for like three minutes.

Art Shot

Art Shot

At any rate. My first mile seemed fast. It was somewhere around 8:30, I think.

My second mile also fast. It did start on a hill, but I was ready for it. I just could have run a much faster race if I hadn’t dropped my glasses…again. Maybe I should run without them.

Patriotic Display

Patriotic Display

At the mile mark, I was joined by Hiroku and the Swole’ Bro’. They were running together.

“What’s up yon Botendaddy?”

The Trellis

The Trellis

“So are you and the Swole’ Bro’ a thing now?”

“Sure, why not.” She said, breathing effortlessly as she ran.

'You sold me q__r Giraffes!'

‘You sold me q__r Giraffes!’

“So, like, old brah’, so like Hiroku is like cool, you know she’s like a fitness PX997 chick, you know. So like, we can work out. She’s not like lame, like a neckbeard.”

I grabbed a cup of water from the volunteer.

Secret race camera

Secret race camera

“What the hell is a neck-beard?”

“It’s like a young dude, who has like a beard on his neck and he wears a fedora, and he likes plays like videos games all the time in his basement.” Said Swole’ Bro’.

A strong finish

A strong finish

“Yes, and he usually likes animé but I’m not sure he would fit in in Japan.” Added Hiroku. So you ran a good race. You could have won your age class if you hadn’t screwed up, you’re such a moron Botendaddy.”

“Latte?”

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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