Those of you around the world can’t understand the ancient hate between Pitt and Penn State. It is a hot hate.
I left New York many years ago to come to Pitt. The rivalry now reignited after 15 years must be allowed to continue again in perpetuity. No one really cares about Florida State or Alabama or other silly southern schools. No one cares about Michigan or Ohio State or any team from Texas or California. I know that I don’t. I couldn’t even find any of these schools on a map.
“So what’s the scoop? The progress?” Asked the Caribbean Queen.
“By the way I am down to
194.6 pounds at a
height of 6’3-1/2”
for a total weight loss of 89.4 pounds
Waist size 33.31″
Bodyfat percentage 14.32%”
The entire Writer’s workshop were there in section 517 at Heinz Field, we all sat together near the last row. Everyone bitched about the location.
“You idiots should have seen Botendaddy at the 5k last night. I thought he was going to drop dead from the humidity. What a disgrace.” Said the librarian.
The Voat FPHVSL chimed in. “Well of course he’s BMI 24, that spells F.A.T.T.Y.! in my book you fat Hamplanet Obeast Mayogender criscodemon!”
“It is hard to watch. How can anyone look so in shape but be so damned decrepit?” Added the stalker helpfully.
“He’s got no goals! He’s got no drive! He’s not bro-licious!” Added the Swole bro’.
“His ass is very small now.” Added the Park Ranger.
“And pasty white.” Said Ramon.
“And del.ic.io.us!” Said the CEO.
“Botendaddy why don’t you walk down and get Beetus for everyone?” Asked the PMWC.
Everyone shouted orders at once. $104.00 of stadium food and drink Beetus later, I staggered up the steps and I fed the entire Pitt Bolean Nationality Classroom Writer’s Workshop.
We all had on PBNCWW t-shirts in Pitt script with a blue and gold alien logo.
No one had any idea what our shirts meant.
At any rate, Pitt beat PSU 42-39. 2-0 in the last 16 years. Of course they only played twice in the past 16 years, so whatever.
Hail 2 Pitt!
Peace be the Botendaddy