I broke the 8 Minute Mile! For the Love of Lindsey 5K – Stockdale PA

Ok, so it was 7:59, I actually dropped my glasses at the start, went back and got them and lost at least 20 seconds.


The host

I watched the clock: 3:50 half mile, 6 minute 3/4 mile, then I sort of sprinted for the 8 minute mile.

I beat almost every runner I set my sights on and I would have beat them all had it not been for dropping my glasses at the start. I was beaten by a ten year old girl a 60 year old man and a woman of ample posterior.


The Registration

The race was well organized.

I actually got a shirt!

There was no swag, but it was for charity.

The course was flat and the weather was awesomely cool!


The start

Mile 1: 7:59 read it and weep Shitlords!

Mile 2: 17:19 – 23 seconds better than the APFT standard of 17:42 for 32 year olds

Mile 3: 27:16

5k Time: Best since September 10, 2005. I broke 29 minutes! Could the goal of 27:00 be achievable?


The quaint building

All PBR’s since 2005.

It was a nice little town.

The event was at the Fire Station.

There was a kid’s run first.


The kids

The course was awesome if you are looking for a PBR. Only 14 feet elevation change. Flattest course I’ve ever seen.

For once, my MapMyRun™ app did not fail! (The sun even shines on a dog’s ass every once in a while.)

I thought I was alone, and happy, but as I hit the first mile, I heard a voice behind me.


La belle rivière

“Nice ass yon’ Botendaddy! Does the sun ever shine on it?”

It was Hiroku!

“How did you find me all the way down here? We aren’t far from the West Virginia line!”

“Keep up your pace damnit! You could hit 17:00 for a two-miler.”


The course

“Hiroku., Devon was right, it is all psychological! My body has been able a long time, but my mind said I couldn’t do it. I just tried to run today until my heart burst. It was eight minutes or death.”


The runners

“Gee, you were an idiot for dropping your glasses. If it wasn’t for that and your massive, tasty adult diaper You could have run 7:30.”

“Iced Mocha?”

Peace be the Botendaddy




About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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