The Monstrous Hills of Beechview and the Effects of Aspirin on Oxygen Uptake

I ran with the track coach,

We started up a hill that had an impossible 31 degree grade.

I call NO bullshit on this one. I have a picture to prove it.

The 31 degree grade

The 31 degree grade

It is illegal to drive downhill on this two-way street.

We started on this hill.

I took 5 low dose aspirin before we started.

I survived this hill.

Then we went up again, I survived that hill.

Still going up

Still going up

As a matter of fact I survived every hill on the route.

Am I ready for the Groundhog Day 4 miler? Who knows. I may be close.

Every time you go on a training run, you are either winning or losing the next race, achieving or not achieving your next goal, depending on how hard  you train.

The urban mindscape

The urban mindscape

I think it was low humidity and THE ASPIRIN!!!

Will I be ready for the 8 minute mile? Only the race this Saturday in the flat will tell.

At any rate, we ended up in a small parklet to rest and respirate.

I was joined by the Voat Fat People Hat Verified Shitlady!

She had effortlessly followed us the entire way.

“Ah, yon delicious Botendaddy, I understand that you have reached 204.6 pounds, a waist measurement of exactly 35 inches. Yet, you still have a disgusting yeasty mini-FUPA, almost undetectable, but still there. You treacherous Crisco-demon, you shitty butter-golem, you are still 4.7 pounds over ‘normal’ BMI. Look it’s time for an interview, let’s get to the truth you fat hamplanet.”

Take the stairs

Take the stairs

VFPHSL: “Botendaddy, why have you not been brigaded by fat-hate shitlords?”

BD: “Because I agree with them on several crucial issues.

VFPHSL: “Name them you Lardvaark.”


“1. I unequivocally supported their freedom of speech during the Reddit controversy.

2. I believe that being overweight is dangerous to your health.

3. I believe that obesity is controllable by diet, but not by exercise.

4. I believe that CI-CO = weight loss.

5. I believe that the processed food industry is killing us.

6. I believe that obesity is a strain on the public health, but so are many other things.”

Running is the bridge from the man to the higher man

Running is the bridge from the man to the higher man

VFPHSL: “What is your take on the SJW Ellen Pao situation? Is she a beta-enabler?”

BD: “I believe that she was the fall-gal for other people. She was of course brigaded by shitlords into oblivion.”

VFPHSL: “Why do you think the shitlords of cyberspace reacted so violently?”

BD: “It’s obvious. Their one safe space in the world is the internet. Their one place of free expression in a repressive, cruel world and it was invaded and taken away from them. They fought back the only way they knew how. By brigading.”

VFPHSL: “Where do you disagree with the noble shitlords and shitladies, you couch-bison?”

BD: “Listen, I do differ with them on a few things:

1. The cruelty of their approach. They hit the most defenseless people. Vulnerable overweight young girls. Their real enemy is SJW’s who would take away their freedom of speech and people who promote an unhealthy lifestyle as acceptable, the HAES and FA people and people who take advantage of rules meant to protect the handicapped, but instead they attack young girls who are looking for love and affirmation, it’s misdirected anger and it’s mean-spirited.

2. I think obesity unquestionably has a genetic component that affects hormones that control hunger and regulate caloric intake. Otherwise, why are some people fat and some thin? It’s akin to a heroin addiction. It’s been proven. I agree with CI-CO = weight loss, but tell a heroin addict to get off the heroin, tell an alcoholic to put down the shitty rotgut, tell a smoker to put down the cigarette. It’s technically a choice, but if you are not an addict, you don’t get it.

3. BMI standards are off. The most recent were designed after the Depression and the Dust bowl to get recruits for WWII. Most of the population was emaciated. Many were emaciated recent immigrants. A recent study found that the highest life expectancy was at 27 BMI. 27! That is dead center of the ‘Overweight’ category. It doesn’t account for big muscle.

4. There are misconceptions about what is an appropriate bodyweight. My high end for ‘normal’ BMI is between 192-199 at a height of 6’2″ The FPH crowd thinks I should be dead center of the Normal category which ranges from an insane 144 to 199. They think I should weigh 172, I was once 172, I was 3.8% bodyfat. I was damn near dead.”

5. Many of the posts are re-treads or urban legends, like the fat cow-worker stealing food and the guy poisoning the food with hot sauce with a high ‘Scoville’ rating. He just happens to be a hot sauce expert. Girl is taken out on an ambulance and he asks the forum for advice. I call pure, unadulterated bullshit.

6.  Not everyone who likes big girls or guys is a beta-male cuckold. They don’t really know what an Alpha male is. Alphas f*ck everything they see. They see, they f*ck, they don’t worry about fat, thin, tall, short, black, white. Alphas f*ck. It’s what they do. Alphas also can knock out a skinny weakling with one punch from four slow-motion camera angles in a YouTube Philadelphia ‘knockout video’. Big guys are bouncers, they dominate in football, in combat, on the streets and in prison. Skinny guys get f*cked.”

VFPHSL: “Blah, blah, blah, f*ck me now, you shitty Fupacabra,  I can’t listen to your hamplanet, butter-tears bullsh*t anymore.

“Iced Vanilla Latte?”

Peace be the Botendaddy



About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Exercise, Food, People, Running and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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