I have now lost 67 pounds!

“Botendaddy?” Asked the librarian. She was in her usual pose sitting against the wall of the museum with her knees drawn up. She was wearing black knee-length tights, a sports bra and a bare midriff. Her lithe, 10% body-fat girly form was magnificent.

“I lied to you. But you never cares that anyone lies to you. You just love people so much that you think anything is pure gold that flows from the mouth of anyone who is willing to speak to you. You love a lie as much as the truth, don’t you?”

IMAG0111

Rainbow

“I’ve now done 522 free-weight workouts in five years, well my lifting year ends on the 28th. I’ve had a catastrophic drop in my bench-press from losing weight. From 3-5 reps at 255 to now I’m doing 185 once? It’s insane. I lost all the muscle as well as the fat. btw I’m now down to 213.4 pounds, 13.5 over BMI. My waist is now 36.5, only 2.5″ over optimal. Thinnest I’ve been in a very long time. The key is consistency. 1500 cals a day max, walk every day, run twice a week, lift twice a week.”

“I was married once, for about five years. Then divorced, then I was dating that jerk for a few years up until this year. I have a kid. He’s 16 now. I’m actually 38, I told you I was 32. So I lied. I don’t know why.”

“16? Wow that’s cool, you’re super-young and you get to know your kid as an adult while you still have a lot of vigor.”

IMAG0270

The fire pit

“The Voat-lady doesn’t bother you for some reason. I can’t figure it out. Why don’t you care if you are being insulted?”

“I’m not sure that a person can be insulted if they don’t want to be. If a dog barks at you, are you insulted? The dirty, shitty, mangy, smelly, decaying, rotting, cancerous, vicious cur-dog can’t help it, she just barks on instinct. She doesn’t mean any harm. So why should I be offended. Are you offended when a crow caws at you? And a giraffe, what about when a giraffe…”

“Will you please shut the f&*k up you f*&cking moron?! I’m trying to get intimate with you here! We were having a discussion. I can’t believe that you were ever married to a woman. That she didn’t stab you to death. Poor thing. You freak. You hideous freak, with your low body-fat, tall tanned body, your white-tail milky-white 4$$, your full head of hair, your tanned almost six-pack. If you don’t make love to me tonight I’m going to club you unconscious and drag you from the back of my Beemer until you are unrecognizable as a human being. Make a noise like a real man for god’s sake and f&%k me silly! What does it take? I am so much better than you in every respect, my body is perfect, men consider me beautiful, I am amazingly successful and well-respected. You are a disgusting, failed, freakish, adult-diaper-wearing, slobbering beast. You stupid shit! You nothing! Ooh look at me! I’m the New York Literati critic. Ooh I’m so blasé in my tweed jacket and t-shirt! You don’t care what anyone ever says about you because you never listen to anything that anyone ever says!”

IMAG0205

One damned deer

“I’ve been walking a lot more every day. The heat is too much for work-clothes, so I change into athletic wear, aka t-shirt and grey cotton 1910 gym shorts. I take my shirt off so I can tan and walk at the same time.”

We seemed to be well-hidden behind the trees and bushes at the base of the museum, when the librarian suddenly ripped off her sports bra revealing two (not three) perfect bresteses. She shrieked at the top of her lungs in full feminine angst and anguish.

“I YEARN FOR YOU TRAGICALLY! I LOVE YOU AGAINST ALL REASON! MAKE LOVE TO ME RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW, YOU STUPID FRANKENSTEIN! YOU UNDEAD CORPSE! F&%K ME!”

IMAG0310

Richland, Washington State

So, my dear readers, I f&5ked her. There I said it. I f*&cked her right on the 1890’s grate hidden behind the trees. She screamed unabashedly like she was being murdered from the inside out by a giant, enormous, terrifying, muscular, glistening, delicious, tasty, turgid {CENSORED, PA DEPT. OF AGRICULTURE FOR PRURIENT CONTENT AND SHEER UNBELIEVABILITY PER PA CONS. STAT. (revised) 23-381(b) Act of 1897, and by ORDER OF THE COURT OF QUARTER SESSIONS SITTING AT MARKLEYSBURG 4 April 1901}

So hidden at the bottom of this post, On September 3rd, 2016, I intend to run in the ‘Streak for the Peach’ nude 5k in Maysville Georgia. Will any of you join me, dear readers? Are you brave enough? Do you want to cast off body-image issues forever? Do you want to run free? What’s that you say? Never? Not ever? Oh well. I plan on being there anyway. I will buy you a pecan pie if you can figure out who I am.

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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