First 10k Run in Seven Years

I had planned to run 5.2 miles. Instead, I ran 6.22 miles or 10 kilometers.

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Trail marker

No lie, my friends, it was uphill the entire first half, 5k entirely uphill. Not easy. My overall time was not great… not like I did in the weird underground run in KCMO back in 2009. But OK.

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Weird old caboose along the trail

It was a long, gentle climb up a wooded trail ridge-line. Lots of weird scenes, antique railcars, steam engines, waterfalls. There were not many runners out there, as there had just been a cold rain. I for one, love to run in the cold rain.

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Pennsylvania train tunnel

At any rate, I made it to the top, past the old railroad mileposts to the 5k mark. The downhill was tough. I was tired. There was actually a guy walking his dog behind me for over a mile. He almost caught me, and I was running! I did sprint to get some improvement in my time and to stay ahead of man and dog.

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Rustic bridge to rustic tunnel

I stopped at the end of the trail. I was exhausted. Otherwise, I would have paid better attention to my surroundings. I noticed someone standing at the end of the trail in the secluded area where I stretch. It was none other than the magnificently odd Argentine bodybuilder, Ramon. Obviously, he had stalked me again. God only knows how far he had followed me down the trail.

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Secluded wooded area

‘Botendaddy, I see you have now lost 36 pounds. It is a somber testament to your discipline in breaking that horrific plateau. Please remove your clothes right here in these woods so I may see the improvements in your…magnificent…body first hand.’

‘Ramon do you think that’s appropriate?’

I looked around and of course, no-one was within miles.

‘You see, my dear friend, I am just admiring nature, you and nature are one, my Botendaddy, please, I insist, you must permit me this honor, you owe me!’

I removed all of my clothes in the woods, for no apparent reason other than to delight my winsome, awesome, beautiful female readers who are bored with my preachy diet and running science and who demand, I say again…demand ‘action’.

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Mysterious intermittent sylvan waterfall

‘Botendaddy, you are delicious! You have retained muscle tone whilst losing massive amounts of weight, even your formerly banana-shaped womanly man-breasts are now pectorals and your gluteii are delectable. I must inspect your entire body, it is my right!’

Unfortunately, Ramon had also removed all of his clothes and was posing as if in an imaginary bodybuilding contest, as he inspected my magnificence.

‘Are you quite insane, my dear Gaucho? This is most untoward.’

‘You took off your clothes first Botendaddy! Don’t be coy with me! I am Argentine and I am madly in love with you! I must make deep passionate love to you right now before we lose the moment!’

‘Ramon this is quite enough! I must protest! This is madness! Madness! I demand that you…

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Gratuitous sunset

{CENSORED, BY ORDER OF THE PA DEPT. OF AGRICULTURE FOR DEPICTION OF UNNATURAL ACTS OF A PRURIENT NATURE, AS DEFINED BY THE PA COURT OF QUARTER SESSIONS: 3 APRIL 1937; PA CONS STAT 234-60.4(a), PUBLIC LAWS OF 2 JUNE 1912}

Peace be the Botendaddy

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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