5k Pace Breakdown

Wheeling is the new hip.

By the way, you all know I’m a New Yorker. Hanging out in Bayside, Bay Ridge, Riverdale, Murray Hill. The list goes on. So I know hip. Tower of Power asked ‘What is Hip?’ I am telling you now. Wheeling West Virginia, is hip. Check it out. It will become the new Hippie, Yuppie, Counter-Culture, Hipster Mecca for the next decade. No, really, it’s hip. Take a trip go there. It could be to the 2020’s what Toledo was to the 60’s.

My Readers are Delicious

In order to help my beautiful, gorgeous, delicious, delectable, red-hot, alluring, winsome readers, I did a detailed analysis of my run yesterday.



Running will be entirely a function of my body-weight until I reach some weight level that is so low, that some other factor must be responsible for improving my pace.

In the meantime:

  1. Get thinner: If your body-fat percentage is too high, you will only make very incremental improvement and risk injury. I know, I’ve lived it.
  2. Hills help: they are very hard and they give you a lot of lung and leg strength.
  3. Trails are good: they force you to rapidly change pace and direction and force you to work new muscles.
  4. Work out: All other exercise improves blood flow, builds capillaries, builds strength, etc.
  5. Don’t overdo it: Some of use either have had major injuries, breaks, tears, surgery, etc. You can only run as much as you can. Any more, you will just be hurt all the time. Always talk to your licensed physician first.

WVNCC Amphitheatre

Me vs. Females in Age Group

At any rate, when I was running slower than 38 minutes for a 5k, I noticed that every female in my age group finished ahead of me. Every one, every time. (I can’t race the males yet, let me lose enough weight to get to my old Army body weight standard.)

Yesterday, only one woman my age finished ahead of me. I was still behind most females.

Me vs. Males in Age Group

I was behind every male in my age group – again. I will have to run under 32:00 to beat EVEN ONE male in my age group. My guess is I will have to lose about 10 MORE pounds to do this.


Punk Bar Back Alley Doorway for the Extremely Hip

Me vs. Everyone: Middle of the Pack

I will have to run under 32:30 to be in the top 50% of a typical 5k. 32:30 seems to be a midpoint on the average for an average race. For more competitive nationally know 5k’s this might not be enough, but I ain’t Paavo Nurmi, so WTF?, people? I do know that if I make my old Army APFT to-mile-run time, the 32:00 will be a shoe-in, shoo-in?

Me vs. Everyone: Top 25%

I will have to run 27:00 which will match my fastest official 5k time ever to be in the top quartile. So, I will have to lose about 30 MORE pounds to do this.

Me vs. Older Runners

It all breaks out the same, each ten-year group is only slightly faster than the next oldest. So, as I reach each 3 minute goal: 33:00, 30:00, 27:00 (Yes, I have run 27’s before. Yes, I used to do a two-mile run in 12 flat.) That will take care of almost every demographic. i.e., faster is better for your pace and place.

Peace be the Botendaddy




About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
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