Anthracite Track Run and Dieting

It is very Pennsylvania.

The black anthracite coal track.

800px-Undoukai

Dirt Running Track by Ken Ishikawa, Kamakura, Japan

 

It won’t stick to you, it’s the hardest of hard coal, like black diamond.

It’s easy on the legs.

I ran 13 laps or ground truth 3.25 miles. It was warm 68 degrees and sunny.

The GPS is way off, by 0.26 miles per 3.25 miles or 0.08 per mile. Not good.

Could be the tight circular motion.

At any rate, the punker girl joined me.

“I didn’t realize you worked out crazy punker-model-writer chick.”

“Ooh I didn’t realize you worked out blah, blah, blah, you stupid fatty. Looks like you lost a few.”

“Yeah I’ve lost a bit. You know what I think? I think if you really want to diet effectively never ever count exercise calories against your daily recommended caloric intake. It makes you cheat terribly. Makes you think you can eat against those extra calories. The truth is, exercise makes you healthy, build capillaries, good for the heart and the blood-work but it doesn’t help you lose weight to any noticeable degree.”

“What about all that 80% diet, 20% exercise jabber?”

“This isn’t scientific, but the more percent you are overweight, it’s diet first, like 95% percent diet. Just enough exercise as you can do without risking injury or heart attack. That’s why I recommend you talk to your license Medical Doctor first before undertaking any exercise program or diet.”

“You sound like a commercial. You know what else sounds like a commercial?”

She exposed her perfect 20 year old nubile breasts, raising her halter top. I almost ran off the track and crashed into the nearest tree.

“Put those away for Khufu’s sake? Are you insane? There are kids around! Have some decorum Punker-model-writer-girl.”

“Don’t be so modest, you ancient, filthy, slobbering, undulating mass of flabby green tissue. I’ve never seen anyone that looked like you that was still alive. You look like something from late night horror theater. Besides your split times suck.”

“Well, I noticed that when you start a diet, you think you’ll run faster right away, but you are also losing a bit of muscle and strength. Without the extra carbs and protein, you are a bit weaker. Also you have to drink more water or you will risk kidney stones, dehydration and the like.”

“Tell me about her. What was she like?”

“She was very beautiful in every way. She had chocolate brown hair. Light brown eyes. Perfect skin. She was always on my side. She loved me unconditionally.”

“No-one will ever love me like that.”

“You have to give the world a chance. You are only 20 years old.”

I reached the 13th lap and I had to go sit on a bench to catch my breath.

“There are no kids around. You bored me to death with your stupid advice. You had the one perfect love, that I will never have and I hate you for it. Now make love to me. Make me feel dirty and used. I want to lower myself and nothing could be lower than letting…you…touch…me. OH MY KHUFU! TOUCH ME BOTENDADDY!”

I fortunately had my Franken-bike so I could pedal away from her and she shrieked as she raced after me, hurling her drumsticks: “I’ll get you ! And your little dog too!”

Peace be the Botendaddy

 

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About Botendaddy

Three times voted extreme sexiest man alive...by acclamation. I run because I must...I must!
This entry was posted in Critic's Corner, Exercise, Food and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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