Wow, 1,500 miles!
It took me a very long time.
Eleven years and 503 runs over 81 running months.
DEFINITION: A running month is any Calendar month where I run at least once.
I missed 47 running months due to various injuries.
Many serious injuries in between.
I ran from the Museum past the universities and into the Park.
I was in serious pain for much of the run. It killed my time.
I literally blew out my right gluteus maximino on the very first stride.
The run was uphill for the first 1.6 miles, slight downhill on the way back. About 155 foot elevation, roughly 100 vertical feet per mile.
At the half way point, I was joined by another runner. It was Ramone.
He paced along side me, watching my gait with studious care.
“You’ve hurt yourself, delicious Botendaddy. I was watching your tasty, yummy, ancient, pasty-white, pimple-covered, flab-covered muscular buttocks, erotically undulating and it is clear that you pulled something. You’ve been careless with your hideous, giant-adult-diaper-clad but alluring Sasquatch, Bigfoot, Chewbacca™, Yeti-body. I would hate for a scrumptious, sweaty, malodorous delight like yourself to be, how may I say it… out of action? As you know my body is perfect, because I take care of it, you glorious, muscular sex-machine.”
He actually posed as he ran, which some might think impossible. Despite the fact that it was 48 degrees out, he was wearing a tank-top and terrifyingly tight metallic-purple speedos revealing almost everything possible on his perfectly oiled, tanned and shaved body.
“How do you know what my buttocks look like?”
“Oh Botendaddy I occasionally work out at the University gym, spending unusual amounts of time in the locker room. Especially when you are there. May I give you three rules, as I live to serve you and grovel at your feet in utter submission to your masculine beauty, dearest beloved Botendaddy?”
“Of course,” I said, between horrific gasps for oxygen.
Rule 1: ALWAYS STRETCH BEFORE RUNNING
Rule 2: NEVER RUN THE DAY AFTER YOU DO FREE-WEIGHT SQUATS
Rule 3: TRY TO AVOID HARD SURFACES WHEN YOU TRAIN
I made it 3.18 miles. My 5k time wasn’t great but not my worst either.
Much wisdom was gained.
Ramone was typically star-struck, weird and intrusive.
Peace be the Botendaddy