I run like a cartoon character whose legs spin but he doesn’t move.
We have a running team.
So we sign up en masse for the half-marathon. WHO IN THE HELL SCHEDULES A HALF-MARATHON IN THE DESERT IN AUGUST? ARE YOU FREAKIN’ INSANE?
Our females had a group of five runners, 3 female two male. All finished.
Another one of our runners is a college track star who always wins. He never loses. NEVER! But who shows up for the damn race? SOME GUY FROM THE ARMY WORLD-CLASS ATHLETE PROGRAM! THOSE CHEATERS BROUGHT IN A RINGER TO BEAT OUR RINGER! So their ringer wins by 48 seconds
One part of our running team was supposed to do a four-man relay. Each man was to run 3-1/4 miles. Not too bad, about a 5k. But two of our relay runners didn’t show up so I had to run 7.1 miles. ME, THE WORLD’S WORST RUNNER!
It was the longest distance I have run since 1997! During the race I had to ‘take care of something’ fortunately, out there on the desert road was a lone outhouse. The ‘delay’ cost me three minutes. At any rate towards the end of the race I see someone catching up to me, yeah the people who ran the entire 13.1 mile distance. I staggered across the finish line. AND I DIDN’T EVEN GET THE FREAKIN’ T-SHIRT!