I was going to run with Swole Bro’, Ramon and the Park Ranger because it was International LGBTQA+MOUSE day.
Actually no one else would run with me. We were joined by the newest member of our Writer’s Workshop the AOSJWG.
“So let’s go run, old shit-covered diaper wearing Botendaddy, what part of ‘we should run’ do you not understand? Why don’t you understand the concept of running? I DOWNVOTE YOU! Here’s the conversation, ME: Let’s run. BOTENDADDY I no understando…ME: Running, like going running, why can’t you understand that? BOTENDADDY: duh… I no comprendo… There, I saved everyone the trouble. I’m Ivy League, I’m all like political. Botendaddy sucks anus. DOWNVOTE! Hie thee hence O’ shitty Botendaddy!”
We were stretching. “I have a stretch for you Botendaddy. It’s a phallic gaping a4nv5 stretch.” Said the Park Ranger.
“Oh yes”, said Ramon, “Botendaddy is del.ic.io.us. Ah the smell of it!”
“I would tear that up!” Said the Swole Bro’.
“OK maybe we should just run.”
We started at full speed. I was well under four minutes for the first half mile. We had to dodge traffic like Frogger or Death Race 2000 or a Russian Car Crash Video #17 ‘St. Petersburg Pedestrians’ I hit the first mile at 8:32 it could have easily been under 8 if I ran harder.
We ran behind the museum (pronounce Muhz-yuhm) and up on to the bridge. We ran into the park
“We have to turn around soon. Why do you not understand that? The search for social justice begins at the halfway point. Why can’t you get that? I mean that’s how it’s set up… DOWNVOTE THE BOTENDADDY !” Said the AOSJWG
Ramon tapped me on the shoulder. “Can we ditch this mierda gringo? He’s an ass of the hole!”
Two mile mark 18:32 not too bad. We then dodged traffic running right up the avenue and right by the Bolean Nationality Classroom. The Bolean teenagers were wearing Pitt Script shirts and drinking interstellar space coffee grown on the planet Holea in 500 below Kelvin temperatures in the Holean Mountain Range at 100,000 feet.
We closed in on the start point Three mile at 28:42 we had a solid shot at 5k under 30 so we sprinted.
“Up at my Ivy League school we sprint at the end all the time. Why don’t you understand that? Why don’t you save a whale?” Said the AOSJWG guy.
We ditched him at the three mile mark.
“We have to get rid of the guy. He sucks!” Said the Swole Bro.
“He’s an imbecile, let’s vote him off the Island.” Said the Park Ranger.
“Let’s go to Botendaddys hot tub!” Said Ramon
It was a 29:50 5k. Not bad. Despite the 77 downvotes.
Peace be the Botendaddy